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First Day Of Remote Learning Prop Bets

As Penn State’s remote learning period kicks off, there’s bound to be plenty of struggles as professors and students alike make the adjustment to Zoom meetings, discussion boards, and education the way Richard Branson imagined it.

To ease the transition make it a bit more interesting and fill the void that sports have left in our hearts, we’ve compiled a list of prop bets for the first day of online learning as professors learn the ropes of running an online class and students are left to the comforts of their own home where no one’s stopping them from calling into class in just their underwear.

For those not familiar with prop bets, Onward State co-founder Evan Kalikow put it best: “A prop bet is short for proposition bet. Basically, it’s a bet on something not commonly betted upon. For example, lots of people bet on the score of the Super Bowl, but how many people bet on how many times the winning coach will say ‘humbled’ in the post-game press conference? That’s a prop bet.”

As always, Onward State is not a gambling site, and these odds are all made up just for fun and not real. We do not encourage or promote gambling. Or suggest you try to organize a betting ring in the chat section of Zoom.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business:

Prop Bets

Live stream cuts out: 11-1
You see something you wish you hadn’t on another student’s window: 4-1
You see something you wish you hadn’t on your professor’s window 9-1
A student is drinking: 12-1
Professor is drinking: 65-1
Professor asks if anyone can help share their screen: 13-1
Professor is at home instead of empty lecture hall: 9-2
Professor is in empty lecture hall instead of at home: 17-1
Professor opens with joke like “Hello, is thing on?”: 25-1
Professor opens by seriously asking “Hello, is this thing on?”: 45-1
Professor breaks into a screaming fit like this: 20-1

Over/Under

Students in 20-person class with AirPods:  9.5
Percentage of class that actually Zooms in: 35%
Minutes before professor realizes sound doesn’t work: 4
Times professor says “I’ve enabled the chat so if anyone has a question, you can type it there.”: 6
Questions asked in chat during class: 8.5
Mentions of “coronavirus”: 16
Students you spot falling asleep: 1.5
Students in 20-person class sitting in bed: 4.5
Shirtless students: .5
Failed flirting attempts in chat: 2.5

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About the Author

Anthony Colucci

Anthony Colucci was once Onward State’s managing editor and preferred walk-on honors student who majored in psychology and public relations. Despite being from the make-believe land of Central Jersey, he was never a Rutgers fan. If you ever want to know how good Saquon Barkley's ball security is, ask Anthony what happened when he tried to force a fumble at the Mifflin Streak. If you want to hear the story or are bored and want to share prequel memes, follow @_anthonycolucci on Twitter or email him at [email protected] All other requests and complaints should be directed to Onward State media contact emeritus Steve Connelly.

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