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Staff Picks: Brainstorming ‘Rothsteinisms’ For Penn State Hoops Head Coach Micah Shrewsberry

It’s March, folks. Penn State men’s basketball isn’t playing in any postseason tournaments this month, but the Nittany Lions made some waves in the college hoops world by hiring Micah Shrewsberry as head coach last Monday.

If Shrewsberry wants to be a successful head coach, he’s going to need a “Rothsteinism.” These are created by Jon Rothstein, a CBS Sports insider who tweets out quick sayings for a particular head coach or team after they pull out a victory. Penn State was briefly in the exclusive club when Pat Chambers earned the saying “Bring on Everest,” but the Nittany Lions will now need to earn a new phrase under Shrewsberry.

With that, our staff decided to give Rothstein suggestions on some sayings for the new head coach:

Connor Krause: ‘The Shrewsberry Patch. Lions Harvest In March.’

Although the majority of the college basketball calendar falls during the cold Happy Valley winter, the start of the postseason commences annually in March, just as the temperature begins to rise on campus.

As spring often signifies the beginning of the farming season in many rural Pennsylvanian towns, we could see Rothstein using this reference if Penn State heats up in a timely fashion next campaign. If the “Shrewsberries” ripen at the right time, the Nittany Lions could be in for a Cinderella run during the next big dance.

Matt Rudisill: ‘Shrewsberry Shortcake. Versatility.’

It’s simple folks. Strawberry shortcake is one of the most versatile food items out there. Whether it’s for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or dessert, it can fill any role. The same goes for Shrewsberry. The man was brought in after a whirlwind of a season and will need to show off his versatility on day one. I can’t wait to see him in action.

Otis Lyons: ‘Micah Shrewsberry. Marking His Territory.’

Did you know that shrews are fiercely territorial? Me neither, but what better way for Jon Rothstein to celebrate Penn State’s new coach when he gets a big win at the Bryce Jordan Center? Hopefully, for the Nittany Lions, Shrewsberry can also mark his territory in the transfer portal and when the team makes a return to Mackey Arena to see Purdue.

Will Pegler: ‘Micah Shrewsberries. Part Of A Complete Breakfast.’

Micah Shrewsberry’s last name quite literally sounds like a cereal, and I love it. I’m so intrigued by it, in fact, that I believe it should absolutely be a part of his Rothsteinism.

When you see a commercial for a cereal, a lot of the time, you’ll hear “part of a complete breakfast” at the end. This fits perfectly for the Nittany Lions. While six players are reportedly in the transfer portal, Shrewsberry is clearly excited and driven to build something special in Happy Valley. The man is quite simply part of the complete breakfast to come.

If we looked at Shrewberry’s upcoming career at Penn State as one day, we’re just barely sitting down for breakfast. Over these next few months, let’s drink our orange juice, take our vitamins, and eat some Shrewsberries. Soon enough, we’ll be having a lovely picnic, and after that maybe even a steak dinner.

Matt DiSanto: ‘Micah Shrewsberry. Taming the Shrew.’

I don’t have a basketball take. This is just too good a Shakespeare pun for Rothstein to pass up. Do your thing, Jon!

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About the Author

Staff

Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.

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