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Penn State Gen Eds That Should Exist

Penn State’s Office of General Education is now accepting students’ ideas for new courses that could count toward general education credits. Naturally, that got us thinking about what classes we think could be solid replacements to Soc 119 and Astro 7N.

Just imagine how willing students would be to go to class in the morning if they were learning about State College bars or the Willard Preacher’s beliefs. Here’s what we rounded up:

FBALL 100 — Introduction To Penn State Football

Students would learn all about Penn State football with topics ranging from iconic games throughout history to the origin of the infamous condom balloons. It could also serve as an intro course for those pursuing a sports studies minor.

TIKTOK 18 — Dancing With Famous Penn State TikTokers

Ballroom dancing and dance appreciation are neat classes, but imagine Renegading with the many famous Penn State TikTokers. Between Bestie Ryan, Katie Feeney, and maybe even Trace McSorley, there’s a lot of Penn State culture within the popular app. Imagine learning about the significance of “Berries and Cream” from famous TikToker and Penn State alum Jess Val Ortiz.

SEX 666 — Sex & Sermons: Understanding The Willard Preacher

Seriously, what the hell is Gary talking about?! A deep dive into the life and beliefs of the Willard Preacher could be the perfect start to a student’s morning. As the man once said, “Oftentimes, I can tell people what they think about things without even knowing them. And I’m right.”

TKTMSR 7 — Mastering Ticketmaster

Please, Penn State. I thought the struggle would be over once I secured my football student tickets, but boy was I wrong. Every week, I frantically contact friends to help me access the Ticketmaster and Penn State Athletics apps to try to download my ticket.

Students would be more than willing to sign up for a course on how the hell to navigate Ticketmaster, and it sure would cut down the line seen outside the BJC the Friday before gameday.

HUB 215 — Navigating The Lunch Rush

Whether this is a critical thinking class or a geography class, Penn State students need help. When is the best time to go to Starbucks? Is it better to get lunch at 11 a.m. or 2 p.m.?

JOEPA 409 — The Life Of Joe Paterno

I hate to break it to you, folks, but every year fewer and fewer students know the significance of the number 409. This class speaks for itself.

BARS 21 — Introduction To The State College Bar Scene

Before you’re 21, Doggie’s is nothing more than golden retrievers, and Champs is what your dad calls you after winning a baseball game. A comprehensive guide to the State College bar scene would be huge for juniors and seniors. BARS 21 could complete the trifecta with the beer brewing and wine tasting classes that are already offered.

There’s a lot of history to be told, and it’s important that students ~know their roots~ and learn the significance of the Skeller. Who knows, maybe the professor would even take the students on a bar crawl at the end of the semester.

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About the Author

Colleen Nersten

Colleen is a senior biology major from York, Pa and is one of Onward State's associate editors. She overuses the ~tilde~ and aspires to be no other than the great Guy Fieri. You can find Colleen filling up her gas tank at Rutter’s, the ~superior~ Pennsylvania gas station. Please direct any questions or concerns to [email protected] For the hijinks, always.

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