At long last, Penn State’s biggest game of the season (for now?) is here.

The No. 4 Nittany Lions will hit the road this weekend to face the No. 3 Hawkeyes on their own turf. Trips to Kinnick are never easy for Penn State, and this clash of Big Ten foes should be no different.

We’re likely in for a low-scoring, gut-it-out battle between these two conference opponents. Whether Penn State wins or loses, you’re probably going to need a drink. So, sit back, relax, crack open a cold one, and enjoy a much-needed away game, Penn State. It’s sure to be an interesting one!

• Right out of the gate, chug your drink. This is the game we’ve been waiting for, and it’s finally here, damn it!
• Take a few sips if the broadcast team plays any clips of the last times Penn State won at Kinnick Stadium. That Juwan Johnson tuddie is still a thing of beauty all these years later.

• For every mention of the Hawkeyes history of pulling off big upsets at night in Kinnick Stadium, take a shot.
• Take a shot if Penn State’s run game gets churning. Noah Cain carried the team the last time it was here, and that kind of performance could very well be needed again.
  • Bonus fun: Pick one of Penn State’s four running backs and chug your drink whenever they run the ball. Finish your drink if they score. If they fumble, pour your drink into the sink.
• Take a sip if you hear any mention of Sean Clifford or Jahan Dotson being Heisman candidates. We’re the proud owners of SeanCliffordForHeisman.com for a reason.
• Take a shot if Iowa generates a turnover. Ouch! The Hawkeyes are pulling a +12 turnover margin entering the game, and that’s no stroke of luck.
• Enjoy a sip for every Jordan Stout kickoff touchback. Did you know they’re more likely than the sun rising?
• Celebrate and finish your drink if Penn State wins. That’s 6-0, baby!
• Finish every drink in sight if Penn State loses. Hell, don’t stop drinking until next week, too. The Nittany Lions’ schedule is brutal, and we’re only halfway done.