What’s Missing From The THON 2023 Line Dance?

The THON line dance is back, and it captured the highlights and feelings of an entire year in only a few minutes. However, the short time window always means a handful of significant events or references go unmentioned.

That’s what we’re here for. We compiled a list of things that didn’t make this year’s cut but were probably more than deserving.

Penn State Field Hockey Coach Char Morett-Curtiss Retires

The line dance gave a shoutout to Penn State wrestling this year but missed out on a top coach retiring. Penn State field hockey coach Char Morett-Curtiss announced her retirement this week after a legendary career. A 575-239-16 record is not something you see every day.

Yes, we know this happened two days ago. However, she’s one of the best field hockey coaches in history, so surely she deserved a mention during the line dance, even if it meant changing something up last minute.

Alix Earle

Alix Earle is the true Academic Weapon.

Did your boyfriend know when Earle and her boyfriend broke up? This question was asked all over social media as the University of Miami student grew famous on TikTok overnight. Chances are you’ve seen her “get ready with me” videos or have seen comments on videos of popular creators saying “You’re my Alix Earle”. Here at Onward State, managing editor Gabe Angieri is OUR Alix Earle.

Women’s Volleyball Transfers

Penn State women’s volleyball has been on fire in the offseason with multiple transfers to create a stacked 2023 team. Katie Schumacher-Cawley was busy in the transfer portal this year.

The Nittany Lions brought in star transfers in January and are expected to have a dominant 2023 season.

Ohio Train Derailment

The train derailment in East Palestine, Ohio, caused 11 cars containing hazardous materials to go off track. Citizens had to evacuate, and concerning videos of the water have surfaced. Some consider it the biggest environmental disaster in history and have raised calls to action. Acid rain, anyone?

Chinese Weather Balloons

Multiple UFOs have been shot down, mainly over the U.S., in a chain effect after a Chinese weather balloon was shot down. It raised concerns over security but also spawned memes, as everything does. If the UFOs are aliens trying to make contact, THON is a great event for them to check out.

NIL Tesla Deals

Four Penn State football players received NIL deals in which they’ll own a tesla for one year. If this insane deal isn’t notable enough for the line dance, we don’t know what other NIL news would be.

Malibu Barbie

Trisha Paytas gave birth to Queen Elizabeth a daughter this year and named her Malibu Barbie. Paytas and her daughter were the talk of social media for ages, with countless TikToks about her name. With a name like Malibu Barbie, she is destined to be iconic, and the line dance would’ve been more iconic with a mention.

Chris Pratt Taking Over Animation

In a surprise move, Chris Pratt is voicing legendary Italian plumber Mario in “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” and raised questions about how his Italian accent will go. Soon after, he was announced as the voice of Garfield in an upcoming movie and launched countless debates and memes over where he will go next. Who knows, maybe next year Chris Pratt will take over as the Nittany Lion.

Prince Harry Releases Memoir

Following Queen Elizabeth’s death this September, her grandson Prince Harry released his memoir “Spare” in January. It was certainly a tell-all and had sections Harry should have kept private. Did anyone need to know how he got treated like a stallion while losing his virginity? The details have divided people across the world and have people asking, “Harry and Meghan,or William and Kate?”

Ronaldo Takes Down Manchester United

Cristiano Ronaldo broke headlines by returning to his old club last season and broke them again when Manchester United fired him during the World Cup after a scathing interviewing exposing his club. The line dance shouted out Messi but would’ve been good to include the other GOAT.

Of course, there is only so much that can be included in the line dance. Maybe our ideas will make a cameo in THON 2024.

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About the Author

Ashley Connington

Ashley is a sophomore studying journalism from New Jersey. She is not okay about Saquon leaving the Giants and was crying on her couch all day. She can't look at all of her Saquon merch and doesn't know when she will recover. You can email [email protected] to send her ways to meet Saquon or watch her obsess over Chelsea FC on twitter @ashconnington.

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