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Penn State Hoops’ Mike Rhoades Shaves Head During Introductory Press Conference

Penn State men’s basketball is still bald, folks.

The Nittany Lions’ newly hired head coach, Mike Rhoades, took the stand at his introductory press conference on Thursday, March 30, and shocked the basketball world when he shaved his head.

Rhoades began his press conference with reasonably balanced comments. He emphasized his interest in playing “strong, different, and aggressive” basketball in Happy Valley. Then, things took a turn.

“OK, we’ve talked enough about basketball,” Rhoades said into the microphone. “Let’s get to the real action.”

At this point, Rhoades pulled out an electric razor and proceeded to shave off all of his hair. Perhaps even more remarkably, he managed to shave all of his hair without assistance from bystanders or a mirror.

“Ta-da!” he yelled after finishing the shave. “Now, I’m a true Penn State coach.”

It’s believed that Rhoades shaved his head to maintain the tradition of successful bald Penn State coaches. James Franklin, Cael Sanderson, and Jeff Kampersal have all brought success to their respective programs with no hair, and Rhoades presumably thought that his lack of hair would bring good luck.

Of course, Rhoades’ position as head coach was most recently held by Micah Shrewsberry, who was named Penn State’s second-best baldie by Onward State before his departure from the program. It’s possible that Rhoades wanted to take Shrewsberry’s position on the power rankings.

Rhoades wasn’t asked any follow-up questions by the media in attendance, who were too shocked to form any words. However, Vice President for Intercollegiate Athletics Pat Kraft threw his support behind the freshly bald coach.

“See, this is what we wanted from our new head coach. We’ve heard concerns from loyal Penn State fans, and knew that we would have to hire a coach who would shave their head for the program,” Kraft said.

The press conference ended soon after, though, Kraft and Rhoades could be seen conversing afterward.

Kraft appeared to mutter “Gotta get that shine in, baby,” as he rubbed what appeared to be baby oil onto Rhoades’ head. Onward State has not yet confirmed what the substance was.

Editor’s note: This story is part of Onward State’s April Fools’ Day series. It is satirical, meant for entertainment, and not to be taken literally. Any quotes were made up for the purpose of this post.

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About the Author

Joe Lister

Joe is a junior journalism major at Penn State and an associate editor at Onward State. He covers Penn State football and enjoys yelling on Twitter about Philadelphia/Penn State sports. He also listens to Mac Miller more than you. If you want to find him, Joe's usually watching soccer with his shirt off or at the gym with his shirt on. Please send all positive affirmations and/or hate mail toward him on Twitter (iamjoelister) or via email ([email protected]).

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