Among the well-known figures at Penn State, some names lend themselves to puns better than others. That got us thinking, what Penn State-themed drink flavors could we come up with?

From chocolate milk to wine, we set out to create the best flavors imaginable. Perhaps one day we can see some of these Penn State drinks sold on grocery store shelves.

Nick-Quick (Nesquik)

How is this man so fast?

Just like how Michael Jordan has “Michael’s secret stuff,” Nick Singleton probably drinks Nick-Quick to outrun everyone on the field.

3x Natty Champ Light (Natural Light)

Imagine. It’s March, and you’re watching Carter Starocci defend his NCAA Championship. This is surely our drink of choice while screaming from the living room.

Rhoadesé (Rosé)

After being handed the L by Bucknell, we all could’ve gone for a glass (or three) of Rhoadesé.

Apple Seider (Apple Cider)

Kind of like Singleton’s Nick-Quick, running back coach Ja’Juan Seider can give the LawnBoyz glasses of Apple Seider before kickoff for an extra boost. Though, after some reconsideration, it may cause cramps.

Kool-Ace (Kool-Aid)

He’s so kool.