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Brainstorming Places You Can’t Park On Penn State’s Campus

As any Penn State student will tell you, parking on campus can be a nightmare. Between the various lots, different schedules and regulations, and the hyper-competitive nature, finding a decent parking spot can be a true challenge.

Sometimes, you might even accidentally find yourself driving somewhere you definitely aren’t supposed to be.

Even when you think you may have found a good spot, it can be common to come back to your car and have your day ruined by a parking enforcement ticket or an unfortunate visit from Walk’s Towing. Whether you’re driving a 2001 Toyota Corolla or your parent’s Tesla Model Y, you can never be too safe when selecting a spot to leave your whip.

In the spirit of promoting good parking habits, we took the liberty of compiling a few places you definitely can’t park on campus.

Inside The HUB

Starting with a no-brainer is the HUB. While trying to beat the Starbucks line is understandable, skipping out on the parking deck right next door isn’t exactly an option. Not to mention, by parking here, you’re bound to have people poking their heads into your car and checking it out like it’s a demo at the mall. We don’t recommend it.

Outside The IM Building

The next location you definitely can’t park is the IM Building. Despite the long lines of freshmen eager to get a pump, parking here probably won’t save you much time. If you’re looking for a spot nearby, I would recommend the commuter lot, which is right next door by Beaver Stadium or you can get your cardio in with a nice walk to the gym.

Inside The Willard Media Center

This next one is a shoutout to the communications majors. The Bellisario Media Center may be a popular spot to study and complete your monthly homework assignment, but parking inside isn’t recommended. Those floors are just a few years old, people!

Outside The Willard Building

Right on the other side of Willard is another spot you really wouldn’t want to park. In theory, this spot could be reserved for the preacher, but he doesn’t park here much. In the off-chance he does, though, you wouldn’t want your car to be in the way or you risk getting stuck in a 10-minute conversation about sin.

On The Lion Shrine

While the signage can be a little confusing, be careful not to make the mistake of parking on the Lion Shrine either. Parking here will result in a 50/50 chance of getting a ticket or having random people climb on your sunroof for a photo-op. Either way, best to steer clear.

On The Bryce Jordan Center Court

Even an electric men’s basketball win doesn’t bypass parking enforcement’s list of rules and regulations. Thinking about parking on the court after a big win? I’d try and follow the Rhoade further down for a safer spot.

On James Franklin’s Head

Penn State football gamedays can be total disasters when it comes to finding a parking spot. Drawing tens of thousands of fans from across the country every weekend is bound to leave students frustrated when it comes to finding a spot. Even though it may seem like a good location due to its smooth nature, we don’t recommend parking on James Franklin’s bald head. We all know he doesn’t need anything else on his mind when we still can’t beat Michigan.

In Front Of The Library

Parking by the library is kind of like trying to find a place to study during finals week: very difficult. While it could save you some time, it’s probably best to leave the car at home and look for somewhere else to lock in for a study sesh.

On The Old Main Lawn

Our final spot you definitely can’t park is a classic. While downtown parking can be ruthless, driving up the hill to Old Main isn’t the better battle. Not only are you bound to get some looks but you’re guaranteed to end up in the background of someone’s senior photoshoot.

We hope you keep these recommendations in mind next time you’re running late to class, so you don’t end up like these people.

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About the Author

Jack Anderson-Jussen

Jack is a third-year finance and accounting major from Pittsburgh, PA, and is one of Onward State's photographers. A die-hard Penguins fan, Jack bleeds black and gold. Feel free to follow his incredible Spotify playlists and make him feel good about how much time he's spent on them. When not taking pictures you'll find Jack at Panzer Stadium playing for the club lacrosse team. Follow him for more @jackaj_ on Instagram, and @jackaj on Spotify.

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