Who else misses the Land-Grant Trophy?

This is the first season since 2013 that Penn State won’t face Michigan State, meaning it’s the first time in over 10 years the Nittany Lions won’t compete for the glorious Land-Grant Trophy.

While Penn State just won the Governor’s Victory Bell in its matchup against Minnesota last weekend, that trophy is too…normal. We thought it would be fun to design some of our own ideas for ridiculous trophies Penn State can play for, starting with its next opponent: Maryland.

The Mason-Dixon Trophy: Maryland-Penn State

The Mason-Dixon line is the famous boundary between the North and the South of the United States, separating Pennsylvania from Maryland and the rest of the southern states. This trophy features a picture of that line thumbtacked to a stump.

On top is a statue of a turtle, Maryland’s mascot, but this specific turtle is the one found at the base of the globe outside Old Main, giving it a Penn State connection as well.

Ark Of The Umbrella: Washington-Penn State

How does that one expression go? Something about, “It’s raining cats and dogs?” Well, a Nittany Lion is a cat, and a Huskie is a dog, so if it’s raining, you’re going to need an umbrella. This trophy features just that: an umbrella made of solid gold resting on top of a replica of the Ark of the Covenant.

Washington’s Crossing Trophy Boat: Rutgers-Penn State

The Delaware River separates Pennsylvania from New Jersey, home of Rutgers. That famed river is the one that founding father George Washington crossed on Christmas 1776 to attack Hessian troops in Trenton.

To honor that famous revolutionary event, Penn State and Rutgers should compete for a full-sized row boat. Yes, an entire boat. Each team can paint a colored strip on the side of the boat to signify a win for their program.

Dairy Cow Rock: Wisconsin-Penn State

Besides California, which is barely a Big Ten state anyway, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania have the most dairy cows of any Big Ten state. This trophy features a bronze dairy cow on top of a really big and really heavy rock.

Mahoning River GameDay Trophy: Ohio State-Penn State

Ohio State-Penn State is one of the most-featured matchups in the history of ESPN’s College GameDay program. This trophy features a stack of Home Depot buckets since The Home Depot is the primary sponsor of College GameDay.

Brick: Iowa-Penn State

It’s a brick.