Dear Penn State community,

You know that one uninvited guest who shows up at the worst time, overstays their welcome, and leaves you completely exhausted? No, I’m not talking about that one guy in PIKE — I’m talking about mono.

Somehow, despite my absolute best efforts to stay healthy throughout college, I’ve managed to contract the peskiest illness possible. Mono has turned me into an old man who needs a nap after his morning cup of joe.

My throat has been on fire for six days, my energy is not there anymore, and my social life has been replaced by an exclusive relationship with my room.

What’s worst of all? College does not care. Classes are still in session, deadlines still exist, and everyone around me is enjoying the first days of warm weather while I’m stuck locked away in a dark room trying to keep up with school. Dealing with mono has me in a chokehold.

So, to my fellow Penn Staters, if you find yourself in the same mono-infested boat, take it from me: Rest up, drink more water than you think is humanly possible, and don’t be afraid to ask your friends or a school adviser for help.

To professors and the Penn State community, please remember that some students are running on empty (or, in my case, running to the slim hope that I will wake up feeling like a functioning human again). A little understanding goes a long way.

Until then, I’ll be here chugging water, taking plenty of naps, and contemplating if I should start charging mono rent since it clearly has no plans to leave anytime soon.