Well, folks, the men are back in blue for Terry Smith’s first home game!

We’re all a little nervous, but at least we’re prepared for the inevitable. So let’s make it easier to handle with a few (or maybe a lot) of drinks. Whether you’re cheering from the stands, watching from home, or posted up at Champs, get ready to play along and drink your way through this game…

• WE ARE back! Take a shot, for Smith — maybe he’ll win his first home game as head coach!
  • If he’s crying while looking at the stands, take another shot.
• If you watched the game last week against Ohio State, take another one and try to forget.
• If you’re still supporting Penn State football, shotgun a beer, you’re a real one.
  • If you’re still holding up hope that we’ll win, shotgun another one.
• If you hate noon games, take a shot of espresso.
  • If you were out last night, do a double shot of espresso.
    • If you were at a frat not affiliated with the school or at Doggies, do a triple.
• If you’re still fighting demons from Halloweekend, take a shot.
• If you’re watching this game from inside, take a sip.
  • If you’re watching from the stands, take a sip.
  • If you’re not watching at all, you don’t deserve a drink.
• If you’ve had strep or the flu this week, take a shot and kill those germs.
• If the stands are basically empty, start chugging.
• Every time you hear “whatever it takes,” take a sip. We obviously aren’t doing that.
• If you’ve seen our players dancing on TikTok instead of practicing, take a sip.
• If you regret choosing Penn State for football, take a shot.
• Every recruit you see take a shot, there might not be many…
• If you couldn’t even give your ticket away for free, take a shot. You wasted money, buddy…
• Every time you see an advertisement for the Beaver Stadium hockey game, take a shot. And say thank you to Guy Gadowsky for not failing us.
• Every time you see our quarterback get sacked, take a sip. Our defense is worse than the Steelers’.
• If you’re begging for Thanksgiving break to come faster, take a shot.
  • If you’re going home before then, start drinking water.
• If Ethan Grunkemeyer throws over 20 yards, take a shot.
• If James Franklin gets hired by another team during the game, take a shot.
• If we score a touchdown at all, start chugging a fifth!
• If our players are obviously being targeted and refs don’t call it, start sipping.
• If you leave the game early, take a shot. Evil.
• If it’s obvious we are going to lose, start drinking water; we don’t deserve alcohol.
• If we win, start chugging. WE ARE!

Have a safe and fun game, folks!