Greeks are always babbling on about how awesome it is to be affiliated no matter what time of year it is, but this week is Greek Week here in Happy Valley, which means you're going to be seeing even more letters than usual. But that's not the only tell-tale sign.
It's about 5p.m. and you're stumbling out of Fratland in search of something incredibly unhealthy, preferably fried or doused in grease, but how are you supposed to choose? Luckily, I have worked my way through the pantheon of State College venues and have rounded up the best of the best.
Ever since Grillers was shut down by the State College Department of Ordinance Enforcement & Public Health (those clean freak bastards) I have been in a state of mourning. So on Friday night when I was drinking underage and heard the news whilst stumbling my way over to Beaver ave I was an emotional wreck. Luckily, I was pointed in the direction of Billy O's.
So, my initial plan was to hop on one of these new CATA buses, because as per our last post, they cost a whopping $5 million so I figured these must be some pretty bougie rides. However, when I waited at the White Loop (aka Whoop) stop yesterday for about 30 minutes, three regular lowbrow buses rolled by, so I said f*ck this, I'm just gonna talk about what I would expect a $450,000 bus would include.
It's official. There's no way around it. As far as us Greeks are concerned, there is no State Patty's Day for us. IFC and Panhellenic have made it abundantly clear that they will not be tolerating any form of inebriated fun this weekend and have cruel and unusual punishments prepared should we try to defy them. So, what other options do we have this weekend? Let me list the ways we can enjoy our non-State Patty's Day weekend.
Everyone likes to watch people make a fool of themselves. Yes, even you, you self-righteous boob. So why not laugh at someone else's expense all in the name of charity!?