“Please keep your mics muted so that if you rip a big, fat wet one, no one has to know.”
"On the bright side, you're about join one of the best alumni bases in the country."
It’s easy to be dreaming about the good ole days in Happy Valley, while social distancing.
However cliché the commencement speeches become, however many pictures you're forced to pose for in front of the Lion Shrine, it all offers a sense of closure to a formative stage of life.
Submissions are due by 11:59 p.m. on Thursday, April 16.
We're not just a b-ball school. We're an ice cream school, too.