Ken’s Best Wurst Closes Due To ‘Decreasing Civility’

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Ken Baumgarten, who’s been serving up hot dogs and smiles to drunken patrons for the last six and a half years, announced via Twitter Sunday afternoon that he’s decided to “hang up his tongs” and close Ken’s Best Wurst.

“My increasing age and decreasing civility in the community are a perfect recipe for burnout,” Ken said.

“As I’ve always said, 99.96 percent of my customers are a delight,” Ken said, “but the remaining fraction has become sufficiently insufferable to overshadow the rest.”

Ken suspended his Thursday services last fall after a “sharp increase in violence & aggression, & a decline in civility.”

Apparently things haven’t improved since then. You’re right, Ken. Life is too short.

The late-night/drunk food options in State College continue to decline with Ken’s closure. Canyon betrayed fans with a new location, Grillers is long gone, and Bell’s Greek Pizza will be sadly missed. Luckily, we still have Yallah on our side.

We’ll miss your word of the day discounts the most, Ken. Godspeed and may you be blessed with plenty of reading, fishing, computers, and spending time with your granddaughter.

Photo By: Alex Bauer
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Elissa Hill

Elissa is a junior public relations major and the managing editor of Onward State. She is from Punxsutawney, PA [insert corny Bill Murray joke here] and considers herself an expert on all things ice cream. Send questions and comments via e-mail ([email protected]) and follow her on Twitter (@ElissaKHill) for more corny jokes.

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