Natty Nittany: What Not to Wear
We all have those days. You woke up late for class, couldn’t find your favorite jeans and blouse, and the only thing you can do to your hair is yank a brush through it as you run out the door. You get to class and look like you got dressed in the dark. It happens. But there are some people who simply look like that everyday, people who just need a little help in the what not to wear department. So every Friday, I’ll be critiquing the don’t on the streets on State College and hopefully helping people get a better understanding of what’s fun to wear and what just look frightening.
The first victim person I saw when I went looking for a bad outfit was this guy. And no, it doesn’t take long at all to find someone dressed like they’re from a bad 80s rock band. Starting with the hair, I think if he wants something light he should go all out and just make it platinum blond because all this color says to me is, “I was trying to dye my own hair blond and I didn’t let it set for long enough so it came out orange.”
The jacket and hoodie I can live with, but those jeans are killing me. First of all, almost no one should wear white acid washed jeans, and especially not ones with that many holes in it. And to top it off, the black thermals he has peeking through his jeans are just wrong. Destroyed jeans can work sometimes, but moderation is key, and they are really better during the summer when you need a little breeze going through your pants. The pièce de résistance is the purple tinted, square cut, plastic sunglasses that just wouldn’t work for anyone.
I know this might be a harsh critique, but if you find this post, purple sunglasses man, and think you can do better, I’ll offer you redemption. Send me a shot of you in an outfit that demonstrates what you’ve learned I will gladly post it in my next what not to wear.
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About the Author
After losing my father to cancer, I thought there was nothing THON could offer me that I didn’t already know. After four years, I found comfort in the familiar.
If you waited until the last minute to plan your State Patty’s daylong outfit, we have your back.
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