Tryna’ learn how to throw a party? No worries, because tonight at 7:30 p.m, you can stop by Heritage Hall in the HUB and catch the Off Campus Student Union’s event with former lawyer and award-winning speaker, C.L. Lindsay, who will teach you how to throw down properly. I guess.

Lindsay will give a lecture titled “Alcohol, Parties, & the Law”, which will deal primarily with how college students can avoid trouble within state and federal legal law. The author of The College Student’s Guide to the Law and founder of an organization called the Coalition for Student & Academic Rights (CO-STAR), Lindsay boasts a list of appearances that includes publications such as US News and World Report, the Chronicle of Higher Education, and the Washington Post. Oh, and he holds a J.D. from the University of Michigan, so it’s probably a safe bet that he knows what he’s talking about.

It certainly doesn’t hurt for Penn State students to have a greater awareness of the rights they possess within laws that they might not be fully aware of. For instance, in a similar (identical?) talk that Lindsay gave at St. Joseph’s University, he highlighted the Fourth Amendment immunity from search and seizure without probable cause. Specifically, if the police show up to your door, you can deny them entry — or a “search” — if they don’t have a warrant.

If anything, Lindsay’s talk at St. Joe’s seemed to be positively received. Reviews highlighted Lindsay’s laidback personality and sense of humor, with one commenter saying that the presentation “was better than I thought it was going to be”. That said, I don’t really expect Penn State students to take a lecture on how to party seriously. Remember (as if you could forget), this is the school that once infamously drew this quote by Playboy: “We cannot rank Penn State University against other schools in the party category because we feel it is unfair to rank professionals against amateurs.”

Honestly, I don’t think I would be able to argue with the skeptics; with Penn State’s historical reputation as a party school and with the experience that comes with dealing with PA and State College’s stringent alcohol laws, we are kind of experts in the field of partying. But hey, maybe C.L. Lindsey can help you refine your rager technique. He can at least help you avoid some tricky legal snafus down the road.

Or, you know, just keep your door shut and bounce the roving idiots that will inevitably show up to your party. Amateurs.