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A Love Letter To LionCash+

Last night, LionCash + sent out a tweet seeking love letters in the spirit of Valentine’s Day. I decided to make my affection public.


I remember it well: A young student at university,
When I fell for you, and you—I thought—fell for me.

You first wooed me with a long list of off-campus merchants,
I never intended to use you but one morning perchance.

By Cupid’s very wish—I lost my debit card at the store.
“I’m doomed,” I thought, as I stomped, stamped, and swore.

Worried that I wouldn’t be able to buy a morsel to eat,
‘twas then that I realized that LionCash+ is pretty neat.

“Y-you accept LionCash+?” I stammered to Wings Over on the phone,
“Yes, of course!” cried the employee. “I thought that fact was well-known.”

It was that first night that I knew I our love was true,
As I gorged on boneless Teriyaki wings— and waffle fries, too!

From there on out I never left without you by my side.
(Unless my friends asked me to pick up the tab, and then of course, I lied.)

LionCash+, you were always perfect when I ran out of dough—
You always told me: “No cash? No problem. Just swipe and go.”

Even on campus, you were always giving me surprises
Those ten-percent discounts were nifty little prizes!

And then when I got fat from the Insomniac Cookies after midnight,
You comforted me, saying my girth looked all right for my height.

But even then, I knew were still the best,
I signed up for the gym, after my Spanish test.

I’ve fallen for you a thousand times again and again,
And even after this all this time— wait, how long has it been?

You still haven’t sworn off all the other boys in State College;
Now, I may not be the smartest, but I have enough knowledge,

To know that this is not a healthy relationship—
I don’t care if you can get me great food at Pita Pit!

I know it’s your nature to be caring and save everyone money,
But I don’t want that type of girl to be my only honey.

I’ll still use you, of course, to purchase all my meals
But you’re no longer the girl who gets to have my feels.

– Mitchell

About the Author

Mitchell Wilston

I apologize in advance.



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Penn State Hoops Gets Iced Up For NIT Title

A banner raising ceremony will commemorate the achievement prior to the team’s season opener on November 9 against North Florida.

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