Our 2014 Bold Predictions Were So, So Incorrect

Dear hindsight,

I hate you.

About a year ago, I channeled my inner fortune cookie and came up with 10 Bold Predictions for Penn State in 2014. The predictions were, indeed, bold. Some were optimistic. Others were equally pessimistic. But overall, I put in my best effort when predicting the year ahead.

If I’ve learned anything so far in the year 2015, it’s the fact that the states of Michigan and Ohio do not shovel their interstates adequately, and that I am the world’s worst fortune teller. Let’s take a look at the bold, but foolish predictions I made last year.

1. Students attending the Jay-Z or Kanye West concert will mistake the Illuminati for the Four Diamonds.

Did this happen? Probably. I did notice a group of Asian students standing a couple rows ahead of me at the Jay-Z concert who realized that people throw up the Illuminati hand signal and showed their friends what they had just discovered. The entire group of them quickly adapted to the trend and soon a wall of Illuminati hands were in front of me. It was beautiful. I cried.

2. The BJC will reach maximum capacity during THON weekend.

Yup. Always happens.

3. State Patty’s will be shunned by the community, university, and student leaders, but that won’t change much.

Haters gon’ hate, staters gon’ State. Although Thaw may have something to say about it in the near future.

4. Penn State will win the Blue and White Game.

Now don’t quote me on this, but I believe Penn State did win the Blue and White Game.

5. Beyoncé will perform at Movin’ On.

Lol nah.

6. It will take approximately 55 days for seniors to empty their bank accounts after Spring Break.

THIS HAPPENED! To whom, I don’t know exactly but I can assure you it most probably did!

7. Aaron Carter will perform in State College once again.

The flyest kid in the block, you know, the popular one with rising stock and had this bright idea to throw not the party of the month but the party of the year, DID make a return to Happy Valley to perform at Levels Nightclub on Nov. 4. Aaron Carter is now pretty much your friend from high school who wants to come party at Penn State a few times a year.

8. Penn State Football will come up with another hashtag to commemorate the new season.

Although #PSUnrivaled was the predominantly used hashtag, I personally like Coach Franklin’s use of hashtags in his extremely personal birthday tweets.

9. Grillers will return for a limited time.

*insert crying face emojis here*

10. We will not play in a bowl game.

OH MY GOSH I WAS SO WRONG AND I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING SO WRONG.

So, I really only got 3/10 of my bold predictions entirely wrong, but that also means I only got 7/10 correct. That’s a C. As a person who thinks of being borderline in a class as “borderline A,” I apologize. I will make better predictions next time around. Maybe. No promises.

About the Author

Yuka Narisako

Yuka legally immigrated to the United States via airplane in 1996 from the small island nation of Japan. Since then she has migrated throughout the country and now identifies herself as a senior majoring in Architectural Engineering. The Shandygaff is her Happy Place, though she was once kicked out of the establishment after breaking her shoe and screaming “I LOVE DAY DRINKING. I’M HAVING FUN.” Yuka is overly enthusiastic about life in general, but especially Ja Rule, Halloween, and the puffy black vest she purchased from the Gap. You can reach her at [email protected], or through Twitter @yukahontass.

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