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Overheard In The Women’s Bathroom At THON, Part 2

We’re almost to the homestretch here in the BJC, but there’s still enough time in between now and then for people to dawdle. So, what is one supposed to do to pass the time? Read what people said in the bathroom, obviously.

Welcome to Overheard: The Women’s Bathroom at THON edition, part 2.

An avid reader of our website: “It’s a good thing Onward State didn’t ask me what I have in my fanny pack because it’s literally just my birth control and bubbles. My mom would have seen that and freaked out.”
Her friend: “Your mom doesn’t know you’re on birth control?”
Avid reader: *fake chuckle* “She doesn’t know I’m straying from the whole no sex until marriage thing.”

Girl who doesn’t like her friend’s haircut: “I mean, no guy is going to care that she chopped her hair off FTK.”

Girl who really needed some blush: “I’m seriously about to use my lipgloss as blush. I look like I haven’t been outside in days. I mean, like, I haven’t. Fuck it, I need some color on my cheeks.”

Committee member who has been too busy to eat: “Imagine how skinny we’d be if THON was every weekend.”
Her fellow committee member: “But imagine how many gray hairs we would have.”

Girl who was seriously so happy: “We are seriously so close. I seriously can’t believe it. Like we are so close to the final four. I can’t believe I’m saying that. Seriously that’s unreal.”

An inquisitive girl in line: “Who decided on ‘Final 4’ as being a thing? Like we’re almost to the ‘Final 4’ but I don’t get why we countdown to that. Why not the ‘Final 1?’ That’d be so much smarter. Wouldn’t it?”

Girl next in line after the inquisitive girl: “I mean, she made a good point. But I’d be happy with switching it up to like the ‘Final 3.’ After all, it isn’t the NBA.”
Her friend: “I mean THON is in the BJC.”

Girl trying to slide: “Would it be weird if we hooked up after THON? I feel like it’d be really Fifty Shades because I’ll probably be all emotional and stuff.”

An accidental thief: “Wait, I definitely did not put Cheez-Its in my bag. Oh my god, this isn’t mine. I’m not even worried. I mean it has to be someone who was sitting in our row. I’m just going to eat these anyways.”

Girl who doesn’t know her THON history: “They definitely scheduled THON the week before State Patty’s on purpose.”

Girl who thought I couldn’t hear her: “Why would you just stand in the bathroom by yourself?”

No hard feelings, girl who thought I couldn’t hear her. I’ll keep the letters that were on your tank top our little secret.

About the Author


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