Rankings are everything. Without them, how else would we know where the best outdoor drinking spot is, how great our school is, or how much we drink!

In the latest ranking on the worldwide web, the folks over at RentApplication.com used data collected by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to create an interactive map of “The Most Sexually Diseased Cities in the USA.” So now we can say that State College, and furthermore Penn State, is the least “sexually diseased city” in the Big Ten… behind Rutgers.

Right now, you’re probably asking yourself “How on earth does Rutgers (which is located in the same state as the walking venereal disease that was the cast of ‘Jersey Shore’) have the lowest STD rate?” If there’s one thing I learned in my STAT 200 class (shout-out to my man Andy Wiesner), it’s that whenever you’re presented with any type of statistical data, you have to ask yourself “What does this data really mean?”

The CDC-data used to rank each city relied on the number of reported STD cases in each city. Therefore, this ranking couldn’t take all the unreported STD cases into account. One reason why these results might not be completely accurate is that some cities may have more instances of unreported STD cases than others. For all we know, there could be countless people hobbling around New Brunswick with the clam (or any other city for that matter).

Regardless, Ohio State still sucks, Ann Arbor is still a whore, and always, always remember to check yourself before you wreck yourself.