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The Time Has Come To End The 5-Year Student Media Dodgeball Drought

No more.

This hiatus shall continue no more.

It has been five years since Onward State and the Daily Collegian squared off in the Student Media Dodgeball Tournament, and we demand this disgraceful chasm come to an end.

It was the spring of 2013, and Onward State emerged victorious from the greatest competition the student media world has ever seen.

But since then, there has been silence.

An invitation to a friendly crate race was dishearteningly declined. A Bradley’s Cheesesteak Challenge was accepted, but ended in pure annihilation on your end by Onward State’s Sweet Italian Boy, David Abruzzese.

But what about dodgeball?

You gave us excuse after excuse. Emails and Twitter DMs gone unanswered. An “I’ll have my people call your people” promise left us waiting by the phone, but ended in sheer disappointment. “We’ll see” and “I don’t know” have been the only “answers” we’ve gotten.

But no more.

The Daily Collegian, it is time to pull up your britches and step up to the plate. It is time for dodgeball.

Onward State hereby formally challenges the Daily Collegian and all other Penn State student media outlets to reignite the prestigious Student Media Dodgeball Tournament.

For once, do the right thing, Collegian. The ball’s in your court.

About the Author

Alex Bauer

Alex is a senior from Cheshire, Connecticut majoring in Corporate Innovation and Entrepreneurship (CIENT) and Finance. He is a first generation Penn Stater along with his two sisters. His favorite things are dogs, coffee, and dogs that shoot hot jets of coffee out of their mouths. If you are Mad Online™ about something Alex wrote on the internet, you can send him threatening emails at [email protected], or harass him on Snapchat and Instagram @TheAlexBauer.

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