Video: Aaron Andrews, Story: Jack Lukow

The hour is late, your intoxication level is high, and your stomach growls to demand food. Not just any food, but the drunkards absolute favorite combination of dough, tomato sauce, and cheeses: you want pizza. So, you ask your friend, “Where do you want to go?”

“Oh, anywhere,” he or she replies. Taken aback, you try to collect your thoughts. All pizzerias surely can’t be so similar that you can’t make up your mind! No, impossible. Canyon has that garlic that you crave, Bell’s has that delectable deep dish quality, and College has…well, usually a short line.

When it comes down to pizza decisions, there are about five places to pick from. Margarita’s (if you make it in before 9 p.m.), Canyon, Bell’s, Gumby’s, and College Pizza. The difference is delicate, so we wanted to know: if blindfolded, could one actually tell the difference? In the name of ranch dressing and science, we sat down three of our bravest (read: hungriest) staffers and had them try all five, completely blind. Using their sense of touch, taste, and smell, they attempt to identify all which is which.