The 10 Commandments Of Walking To Class
With a campus as massive as Penn State’s, walking everywhere is inevitable. Forget what your campus tour guides told you because odds are, you’ll be trekking to class for longer than expected. There are CATA buses, but you’ll soon find they can make you even later to class. Of course there are bikes, scooters, and skateboards. Most Penn State students, however, choose the most reliable choice of transportation: their own two feet.
So what’s the problem with just walking? Well, campus basically turns into a mob of you and your classmates trying to push and strategically shove your way through the crowds. When everyone is determined to reach their own destination, it’s every man for himself. But that doesn’t mean you can just walk to class in any fashion you wish. There are rules, after all.
These are the most crucial commandments when it comes to walking to class. If every student could all just try to follow these guidelines, walking to class could be a smoother, more enjoyable experience for everyone.
1. Eyes Up Here!
Most students choose to listen to music on their way to class. That’s fine! We all look down at your phone every now and then to change the song, but don’t be that guy who’s so glued to his phone that he almost walks into a pole, or another student. Look up!
2. Stay In Your Lane
This should be common sense, but stay on your right side when walking to class. Bikers may need room to pass you. You don’t want that awkward collision with someone walking the opposite way.
3. No Cigs, Please!
Everyone has different views when it comes to smoking. However, don’t be the guy who lights up and smokes a cigarette in the middle of a congested herd of students walking to class. Don’t be the dude who hocks a loogie on the sidewalk, either. That’s just not cute.
4. Single File!
We get it. You and your three best girlfriends are having a Sex and the City moment. You’re all walking side by side, talking and laughing on your way to class. Alas, this is not an infamous TV series, or the streets of New York City. This is Penn State, and you’re making people late to class.
5. This Is Not A Photo Op
Maybe you see an adorable squirrel or chipmunk on the way to class. Snap a few pictures and be on your way. But other than that, your Shapchat story can wait. You don’t need to make a cinematic masterpiece right then and there. Also, keep the selfies to a minimum. Or better yet, don’t selfie en route to class at all!
6. This Is Not The Time To Socialize
“OH MY GOD! HEY! HOW ARE YOU?!” If you encounter a long lost friend on the sidewalk, yes, it’s exciting. We’re all bound to see a few buddies on our way to class. If you intend on talking for longer than 10 seconds though, make a point to move out of the way. I’m sure your time at The Phyrst was unbelievable last night, but the entire campus doesn’t need to know.
7. You Have The Right Of Way, But…
As pedestrians we have the right of way, but don’t be a dick about it. Don’t start sprinting into the street right as a car is about to drive past. Look both ways, just like your mother taught you.
8. If Someone Trips, Be Nice
It’s State College. The roads get icy, wet, and slippery. Slips, trips, and slides are bound to happen. Heck, some of us even trip over our own two feet. So don’t be the guy who laughs when someone falls! Help them out!
9. If You’re Passing Someone, Do It Right
Sometimes, the guy in front of you is a straight-up sloth. It happens. You need to pass them, but you don’t have to do it hurridly and rudely. Make sure there is plenty of room to walk past them, and then be on your merry, power-walking way!
10. Look Alive!
Maybe it’s pouring rain, or maybe you’re dreading your 8 a.m. chem lab. The point is, you won’t always be skipping and smiling on your way to class. But remember, this IS Happy Valley. Be alert! Try your best not to look like The Grinch while you’re walking, and don’t drag your feet. You pass hundreds of faces a day, so flash a few smiles if you can. Because remember, you get to walk through the happiest campus on earth every day.
Hopefully you weren’t guilty of too many of these transportation sins! And if you were, now you know better. Let’s all unite and agree to follow these commandments. Because let’s face it: We all have a few more miles to walk here at Penn State.
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About the Author
“Holy crap, it’s been 10 years? I’m old as hell!!”
It’s been an exciting century…unless you’re Rutgers playing Penn State.
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