Jay Paterno: “Yes, This Beer Tastes Like Shit”

In an interesting new revelation, Jay Paterno, former Penn State quarterbacks coach and son of legend Joe Paterno, admitted that he, like many others, dislikes the beer created in his father’s honor.

“I know I’m supposed to like it because it was made for my father and all, but have you tried it?” Paterno said yesterday. “Listen, I’m the biggest supporter of my father and everything he did, but this beer tastes like someone made a can that would get peoples’ attention, took it to the Beaver Stadium urinal troughs, filled it up, added a bit of alcohol, and then sold it.”

Paterno’s comments come almost a year after the beer’s release. The release was a commercial hit, selling out almost instantly and reaching a million sold with ease. While many people didn’t fancy the beer’s taste, they dealt with it just for the novelty of drinking a “Joe Paterno Beer.” Jay, however, says that after drinking it time after time to show support for his late father, his silence has gone too far.

“My dad drank Old Grand-dad, so you know he didn’t have the highest standards for his drinks, and I don’t even think he would drink this,” Paterno said. “I get that people will buy anything you put his face on — hell, I bet if someone made a ‘Joe Paterno car’ that was just a kid’s toy wagon, people would try to get it street legal — but this is just bad.”

The outburst against Paterno was quick and intense, coming mostly from watchdog group PS4RS and noted Joe Paterno supporter John Ziegler. Both were quick to question the son’s loyalty to his father, even suggesting that his actions were the result of a larger NCAA conspiracy to defame Joe and the university.

“It’s really pathetic, not a single witness can confirm Jay’s story, and now he’s gone back on his original word, it just doesn’t add up,” Ziegler said. “I didn’t set out with the purpose of trying to defend this beer or the Duquesne Brewing Company, but I want the truth, and this is clearly not the truth when you get past all the media bias and lies. There’s a cover-up here, and I don’t care what it does to my reputation, I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”

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About the Author

Mike Reisman

is a senior Supply Chain Management major with an Economics minor (Read: Business Douche) from South Jersey. He has an intense fear of graduating so please don't bring it up. He writes about stupid things nobody cares about, and student life if the site is low on content that is clearly supposed be funny but is really very unfunny. He is lovingly (?) known around the staff as Baby Mike which may or may not be because he has a child (hint: it’s not). He’s also a second generation Penn Stater who has been wearing Penn State sweatshirts since before he was two, a habit he hasn’t grown out of. If you really hate yourself, you can follow him on twitter at @mike_reisman or email him at [email protected]

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