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[VIDEO] This Is Not An Apology: The Life Of A Transgender Poet

By: Darcy Long, Nick Weiss, and Sam Panko

With the heart of a poet and the smolder of a hundred late-night campfires, Dorian Lucas is a living novel.

Lucas, a transgender male, has faced many hardships, both internally and externally, over the course of his life. He came out to his mother when he was 18-years old in a nine-page letter, though he knew long before then he was not a girl. After a less-than-understanding reaction, Lucas was lost, struggling even more so with his identity.

“There’s only so much you can go through before you have to ask yourself, ‘What am I meant for? Why am I still here on this earth, despite so many sleepless nights spent in hopelessness?’” Lucas said. “I began to realize that my existence had meaning, just like anyone else.”

For him, that meaning was poetry.

A regular at Webster’s open mic nights, Lucas performs his poetry for a full house, pouring his soul into every word. His poetry reflects the many hardships and challenges he’s faced. “This Is Not An Apology,” a recent addition to his collection, is an open letter to his mother — an unapologetic testament to Lucas’ triumphs and self acceptance.

“Eventually, after I started speaking out against Transphobia, calling out those who disrespected not only my own, but also others’ identities, did I realize just how much I have to offer this world. There’s only so many dark nights before you begin to notice the sunrise,” he said.

Lucas is a State College native who has had the opportunity to experience “all things Penn State.” He currently works tirelessly at Panera, taking countless hours to save enough money to attend Penn State and double major in English Literature and Psychology. He has always had a mastery of the written word and hopes to one day become a university English professor.

Though not a student just yet, Lucas is active with the LGBTQA Student Resource Center on campus. You can find his poem “This Is Not An Apology” and many others on his blog.

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