Investment Of A Lifetime: Ken’s Best Wurst Cart Up For Sale

There’s a lot of Penn State memorabilia out there you can waste your money on. Smelly Saquon jerseys, boring 1982 National Championship rings that will just, like, sit there on your desk or something. But then, once in a blue and white moon, you have the opportunity to purchase a piece of true Penn State history.

Yes, the Ken’s Best Wurst cart is officially on the selling block.

Ken, the legendary street-meat-slinger, announced he was “hanging up his tongs” late October of this year. “As I’ve always said, 99.96 percent of my customers are a delight,” Ken said, “but the remaining fraction has become sufficiently insufferable to overshadow the rest.” The announcement devastated the Penn State community.

But now, there is a chance to truly solidify your eternal love for sauzeech and triple dog deals. The cart will include the spectacular red umbrella that proudly rose above the crowds of patrons, the grill that would fill the air with sweet aromas of street meat and sauzeech, and the condiment station that allowed you to add your own personal touch to the perfection that was Ken’s Best Wurst.

Not only will those tangible amenities be included, but along with them come the memories cherished with Ken. From the countless exhilarating word-of-the-day deals, to the manhunt for the mustard thief, and everything in between, Ken and his street meat sled have truly been a Penn State staple.

So forget about Bitcoin because there is only one investment available today that will undoubtedly bring you prosperity: the Ken’s Best Wurst cart. To inquire about purchasing this legendary piece of Penn State history, you reach Ken on Twitter @KensBestWurst.

About the Author

Alex Bauer

Alex is a senior from Cheshire, Connecticut majoring in Corporate Innovation and Entrepreneurship (CIENT) and Finance. He is a first generation Penn Stater along with his two sisters. His favorite things are dogs, coffee, and dogs that shoot hot jets of coffee out of their mouths. If you are Mad Online™ about something Alex wrote on the internet, you can send him threatening emails at [email protected], or harass him on Snapchat and Instagram @TheAlexBauer.


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