Bring ‘The Tonight Show’ To Happy Valley: An Open Letter To Jimmy Fallon
I love you, but I am extremely disappointed in you.
Last week, you traveled to Texas to host the taping of an episode of ‘The Tonight Show’ from UT Austin.
Really, Jimmy? UT Austin? Come on.
You flew all the way to Texas for the campus experience when Penn State is right here in your tri-state area backyard. Sure, Austin has BBQ, Matthew McConaughey, and plenty of cool hats, but once you peel back the cowboy exterior, what’s left? State College might not be as hIpStEr as Austin, but with Pokey Stix and Sean Clifford, we have everything you, or anyone else, could ever want.
Look, I’m trying not to take this personally, but you said you picked UT Austin because you saw the school, its fans, and McConaughey on ESPN’s College GameDay and loved their energy. I guess your TV has been broken for the past three years that GameDay has touched down in Happy Valley, because if “energy” is all it takes to get you on campus, then you should have been here in 2017.
I didn’t want to have to bring this up, but I think it’s necessary. You really started your UT Austin show by saying “We are Texas.” Are you kidding me? “We are” is our thing. Whether you know it yet or not, I think you wanted to come to Penn State all long. I mean: Could there be a clearer sign?
Don’t worry though, Jimmy, you still have a chance to make it up to us. Now, I’m
not going to beg you, but please come to Penn State. Anyone who has been to a Penn State game knows we have the loudest, proudest student section in college football, and we’d be sure to bring that same energy to your show.
Picture this: the Bryce Jordan Center is packed with students, ecstatic to see you, Jimmy Fallon, in the flesh. Zombie Nation pours over the speakers, filling the arena, and when the time comes the entire crowd erupts in the legendary “We Are” chant. You descend from the rafters of the arena in a cloud of blue and white smoke and confetti, wearing a Nittany Lion costume and tossing “Tonight Show”-branded footballs to thousands of screaming fans below. After the show, you head downtown with the crew for a bar crawl, or stop by the Creamery for a cone. Does it get any better than that?
I know you’re super busy in New York City, and you can’t just drop everything to come to Happy Valley, but if you’re thinking about making another campus cameo, Penn State will definitely show you a good time.
If you won’t listen to me, listen to Joe.
From Happy Valley With Love,
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About the Author
We took a stab at predicting what Schreyer grads’ theses might be about.
From Arby’s to In-N-Out, the possibilities are endless.
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