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The Official Penn State-Illinois Drinking Game

Although it’s hard to believe, Penn State football is nearing the end of a certainly unforgettable season.

The Nittany Lions’ regular-season finale against Illinois Saturday could result in their fourth straight win following victories over Michigan, Rutgers, and Michigan State. Should that happen, you might want a drink or two to celebrate.

Or, if Penn State falls to 3-6, you might need some drinks to numb the pain.

Naturally, that’s where we come in. So sit back, relax (well, try to), and follow along with our official Penn State-Illinois drinking game.

  • Take a shot right out the gate to get used to a 5:30 p.m. kickoff. We complain about noon kicks often, but who settled on 5:30 and thought it was a great idea? Weirdos.
  • Take a sip every time the broadcast mentions how Illinois fired its head coach. We get it already!
  • Take another sip every time the broadcast points out the Fighting Illini are without receiver Josh Imatorbhebhe, who opted out and declared for the NFL Draft.
  • Take a shot if Will Levis comes in and runs the ball — better known as the ever-so-predictable Will Levis Package.
  • Take a sip if you hear any mention of Miles Sanders running wild over Illinois when Penn State last played it in 2018. We could use another three-touchdown, 200-yard performance.
  • Take a massive gulp if Big Ten refs continue to be ~garbage~.
  • Finish your drink if the commentators propose Penn State could’ve been in the Big Ten title game if the conference hadn’t changed the rules to help Ohio State out. Oh, what could’ve been…
  • Take a shot if any Nittany Lions bust out a backflip like Keyvone Lee did last week.
  • If the Nittany Lions win, finish your drink and celebrate another hard-earned victory.
  • If Penn State loses, finish every drink in sight and avoid the team’s twitter mentions as it falls to 3-6.

No matter who comes out on top, remember to have fun, be safe, and drink responsibly.

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Staff

Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.

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