Happy Festivus, folks!

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past 23 years, Festivus is a particularly secular holiday celebrated annually on December 23. Created by author Daniel O’Keefe and featured in a 1997 Seinfeld episode, Festivus serves as a non-commercial alternative to traditional Christmas celebrations.

The celebration typically features a feast, an unadorned aluminum pole (in lieu of a tree or menorah), and practices such as the “Feats Of Strength.” Most importantly, Festivus asks participants to take part in the “Airing Of Grievances” following dinner and lash out at others about how they’ve disappointed you over the year, hoping to clear the air as a new year begins.

Well, Penn State…We’ve got a lot of problems with you, and you’re going to hear about it!

Michael Tauriello — Penn State’s New Dining Hall Menus

Normally, I’ve got no issue with Penn State Dining. Its ability to adapt to a new environment with the coronavirus pandemic at hand was one of Penn State’s highlights this semester. I was skeptical at first, but it found ways to make picking up food a safe experience.

But still, someone needs to say it: Garlic roasted broccoli is putrid. Who actually likes parsnips? It’s time to stop talking so much about West cookies, they’re just too underdone and a greasy mess. Where the hell did mac and cheese go? Fish sandwiches, what about them? I understand that some options aren’t as portable to carry out, but by the way the folks serving the food often just mixed foods together within your bin for no reason, I don’t see the problem. Penn State did well this semester with food services. But good God, garlic roasted broccoli — I can’t take it anymore.

Alysa Rubin — A Fan-Less Beaver Stadium

As much as this year has driven me up the wall, I can’t say I have too many things that Penn State did to bother me. However, I still haven’t come to terms with not being able to be in Beaver Stadium this season. I understand the logic, and I’m so grateful that Penn State was able to play its season without any outbreaks, but damn! It still hurts.

Matt DiSanto — Plastic Takeout Boxes Suck

I am not a hateful person. I am not, contrary to popular belief, a Negative Nancy. But good lord do I hate Penn State’s plastic takeout boxes! Reimplemented amid the coronavirus pandemic, these wasteful abominations replaced Penn State’s Green2Go program, which let students check out and return reusable plastic boxes to cut down on waste. Genius!

Now, students are forced to carry meals home in squeaky, harmful boxes that just don’t hit the same way those Green2Go boxes did. You can’t help but feel guilty while wasting that much plastic twice a day, seven days a week. Hopefully, it’s only temporary while the coronavirus pandemic limits how the dining halls can operate. Sigh.

Otis Lyons — HUB Dining Hours

I have lost track of the number of times I’ve excitedly entered the HUB, ready to celebrate a long day of schoolwork with Panda Express or McAlisters only for everything to be shut down. The options in the HUB are fantastic, although they are significantly less appealing when only open a few hours a day.

I understand that it is challenging to have enough workers, but I’m sure there are enough college students looking for something to do. Why not kill two birds with one stone and let us eat at unconventional times in the HUB? Or at the very least, expand hours during midterms and finals so we can enjoy a Chick-fil-A sandwich at 1 a.m. while cramming for a chemistry test.

Will Pegler — Old Main’s Bell Tower Timing

Hey, Penn State. Why does the Old Main bell ring a minute early? I love listening to it as I’m walking to class or even just hearing it from my apartment, but it is seriously frustrating to catch it just a little bit earlier than I’m supposed to. If the bell were adjusted to ring at the correct time (like the top of the hour!), I think campus would be a much happier place. Please consider making this change, Penn State. Happy Festivus!

Katie Moats — Seniors Are Screwed

This year, I am mad at Penn State because as a senior, I feel like it could’ve done SO much more with how the pandemic is/was dealt with. The remote period was announced one month before classes were set to start, and if you read Renata’s article that came out today, administrators don’t really know how to help students whose plans got screwed with.

Penn State has had months to figure out a way to have an in-person commencement — other major schools around the country found a way — and instead, graduating seniors were left with another glorified PowerPoint. Tuition has stayed the same despite the fact that we are absolutely not getting the same quality of education as in-person instruction would provide.

I get that everyone’s doing the best they can, and this absolutely has nothing to do with professors. But I really hope Penn State can step it up next semester, as well as any future semesters impacted by the pandemic.

Ryan Parsons — Give Me Seltzer Or Give Me Death

My problems with Penn State’s seltzer agenda are well documented, but the issues remain outstanding. This is still a grievance I must air.

The university’s silence in the situation is quite deafening. Not only is seltzer delicious and healthy, but its implementation into dining halls would be great for the environment. Students are stuck between choosing plastic water bottles and unhealthy, sugary soda. Figure it out, Penn State! Put seltzer in the damn buffets. I’ve seen cans of Bubly in vending machines and markets, so why not put it in the dining hall, too?

Grace Cunningham — Justice For City Grill’s Wings

The worst thing that has ever happened to me was when City Grill in Redifer Commons started pre-coating the boneless wings in buffalo sauce.

The wings used to get dunked in a big, beautiful pot of sauce right before your eyes, so they were extremely saturated and delicious. Last year, in a tragic turn of events, they started coating the wings beforehand, so they became much more dry and far less appetizing.

One of my main food groups is buffalo chicken, so this was a very upsetting occurrence. It has been extremely difficult to adjust to this harsh new reality.