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Bring ‘Hot Ones’ To Happy Valley: An Open Letter To Sean Evans

Dearest Sean,

A few weeks ago, you traveled to your home state of Illinois to host an episode of ‘Hot Ones’ from your alma mater, the University of Illinois. You grilled Illini men’s basketball coach Brad Underwood with hot questions and even hotter wings, and his performance did not disappoint.

As I watched Coach Underwood sweat, struggle, and chug milk, I couldn’t help but fantasize about who I would like to see in his shoes. Let’s cut the shit, Sean. I want you to come to Happy Valley and put James Franklin in the hot seat.

Although the regular football season has come to an end, I think this is the perfect time to sit down with Franklin and reflect on the past few months. What better way to hear Franklin’s true thoughts than by getting him in a vulnerable state with spicy sauce? We would definitely see a side of him that we’ve never seen before.

Look, I know you have no connection to Penn State, but I promise that we’ll make you feel at home. The Nittany Lions would welcome you into the family with open arms. Not to mention, this could be a huge opportunity for your career. Watch out, Rece Davis!

To be honest with you, Sean, I really need a win. My last letter to the Goodyear Blimp was a complete flop, and Jimmy Fallon ghosted me, too. I just don’t know if I can take another soul-crushing rejection.

So, what do you say, Sean? Care to spice up your life and make a trip to Happy Valley? I know you’re busy, but if you’re thinking about making another campus cameo, Penn State would not disappoint. Plus, it’d be pretty hot.

From Happy Valley with love,

Grace

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About the Author

Grace Cunningham

Grace is a junior advertising major and one of Onward State’s social media editors. She is also a co-host of our podcast, Podward State. Grace hails from Chatham, New Jersey. No, she doesn’t know Snooki, and yes, she will fight you if you tell her that Pennsylvania bagels are good. Grace loves pranks, the Yankees, and the Daily New York Times Mini Crossword. You can follow her on Twitter @gecunningham7 or send jokes to [email protected]

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