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An Official Power Ranking Of The THON 2022 Line Dance Lyrics

No, you’re not dreaming. Dancer relations captains took the stage at the Bryce Jordan Center Friday night to kick off the 46-hour dance marathon with the official THON 2022 line dance. With references to Charles Millard, Simone Biles, and much more, this year’s line dance really outdid itself.

Now, before we hear them dozens of more times this weekend, it’s time to power rank the 2022 line dance lyrics.

10. “All Too Well,” 10 minutes long // Coney Island, bing bong!

Any mention of Taylor Swift in the Line Dance is great. When you mention her 10-minute song “All Too Well”? Forget it, we love it. “Bing bong” holds a special place in the heart of any New Yorker. Heck, it originated outside Madison Square Garden after the Knicks’ season-opening win over the Celtics thanks to the psychotic passionate fans celebrating afterward. From there, it became a national movement.

9. Ohtani puts on a Sho // Tom Brady’s final throw

Shohei Ohtani is so sick, man. The reigning AL MVP is quickly becoming the face of MLB. That is…if the MLB ever ends its current lockout. Legendary NFL quarterback Tom Brady announced his retirement following the 2022 season. With seven super bowls championships and several records under his belt, Brady is arguably the greatest player of all time. Combining Ohtani and Brady in this lyric gives the sports world a nice representation and earns a solid ranking on our list.

8. Kim K couples up with Pete // Kanye moves across the street

Kim Kardashian famously started dating comedian Pete Davidson after her breakup with Kanye West. Man, isn’t Kanye something? The guy buys a house across the street from his ex-wife. What an insane move, and he’s rightfully the butt of the joke here.

7. Simone Biles stands for change // Mental wellness in the games

Simone Biles took a significant and courageous step when she pulled out of the Tokyo Olympics due to her mental health. This line is an important reminder to everyone, especially the thousands of college students in the BJC, that it’s important to take care of your mental health, and it’s ok to ask for help.

6. JoJo’s pride inspires all // Simmons, please dunk the ball!

“Dance Moms” star JoJo Siwa, who identifies as gay, took a stand and danced with a female partner on “Dancing with the Stars,” which was inspiring for many across the country. Philly fans, we’re sorry, but Ben Simmons getting referenced here is hilarious. We won’t soon forget Simmons passing up a wide-open dunk in the playoffs against the Hawks. It’s more than worthy of a top-10 ranking.

5. Happy Valley in the zone // THON is family, THON is home

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves!

4. Nassib makes Penn State prouder // Students show Love is Louder

Last year, former Penn State defensive end Carl Nassib became the first active openly gay player in the NFL. It was a significant move for Nassib, to say the least, as his courage was admired by Penn Staters and NFL fans everywhere. Penn State students continue to show their pride, and it’s important to recognize the steps that have been taken.

3. Coach Rose legend, best alive // BJC the big 25

Now-retired legendary Penn State women’s volleyball coach Russ Rose is simply incredible, and more people should know that. With seven national titles, 17 Big Ten championships, and an all-time Division I-record 1,330 wins, his resume speaks for himself. Oh, and the Bryce Jordan Center turned 25 last year! That’s pretty cool.

2. Chris’s quest, Four Diamond story // Sir Millard, lives in glory

Four Diamonds co-founder Charles Millard passed away in late 2021, and his legacy will live on for generations. His son, Chris, who passed away after his nearly three-year-long cancer battle, inspired the name “Four Diamonds.” In an essay Chris wrote, he told a story about a knight’s quest for four diamonds — courage, wisdom, honesty, and strength — needed to defeat an evildoer. It’s impossible to put into words the impact Charles and Chris have had on countless families, so this lyric was a very nice touch.

1. Hear us roar, our endless chant // Still we dance for those who can’t

It doesn’t get more wholesome than this. This line, which is in the chorus, is sung by a Four Diamonds child named Sean. “Dance for those we can’t” was actually the first-ever THON theme 50 years ago. The lyric really embodies what THON is all about, and it’s only fitting that it takes No. 1 in our rankings.

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About the Author

Gabe Angieri

Gabe is a senior majoring in journalism and is suddenly Onward State's managing editor. He grew up in Lindenhurst, New York, and has had the absolute misfortune of rooting for the Jets, Mets, and Knicks. If you want to see his bad sports takes, follow him on Twitter @gabeangieri and direct all hate mail and death threats to [email protected]

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