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20 Penn State-Themed ‘Impractical Jokers’ Punishments

WARNING: The following post contains scenes of graphic stupidity among lifelong friends who compete to embarrass each other… Penn State-style.

“Impractical Jokers” is back for its 10th season and with its return on the horizon, we wondered what the show’s punishments would look like if they were Penn State-themed.

For those unfamiliar with “Impractical Jokers,” the jokers attempt to complete challenges throughout the episode. At the end of the show, the joker with the most incomplete tasks receives a punishment, which can be an even more challenging physical, embarrassing, or psychological task.

Without further ado, here are some “Impractical Jokers” punishments fit for Happy Valley.

20. Rewatch Penn State’s Nine-Overtime Loss To Illinois

What is worse than watching No. 7 Penn State’s season begin to crumble in a record nine-overtime loss to Illinois? Having to watch it all over again.

19. Eat Canyon Pizza While Completely Sober

When you’re drunk, it’s easy to look past Canyon Pizza’s health violations. However, when you are completely sober, not so much. We hope you like mold!

18. Make Out (With Tongue) In Front Of The Willard Preacher

After 30 years of outstanding service, this kiss might just be what sends him into retirement. Someone cue up, “He’s a Jolly Good Fellow.”

17. Flirt With Your Academic Advisor

Come on, folks. We all know it’s hard to resist temptation, but this punishment invites you to do so.

(Editor’s note: Who the hell is “we?”)

16. Swim In The HUB Fish Tank

The toughest part may be trying to figure out how to get into the tank.

15. Watch The Thomas 208 Porno While Sitting In The Front Of The Class In Thomas 208

If you weren’t aware, a pornographic video that can be found on a rather ~popular~ pornographic website was allegedly filmed in room 208 of Penn State’s Thomas building. The punishment is sitting in the front row of a class in Thomas 208 and watching that video.

14. Take A Bath In Pollock

Scrub-a-dub-dub! Bring your rubber duckie, a pool noodle, and some bleach. We don’t know what is more concerning for your health, Canyon Pizza or taking a dip in a communal bathtub.

13. Have Dinner With Coach Franklin And Coach Shrewsberry While They Reenact The “Lady And The Tramp” Spaghetti Scene

Talk about a sight for sore eyes. Honestly, we think this is more of a privilege than a punishment. You’ll either not be able to look away or want to gauge your eyes out.

12. Pole Dance On The Flag Poles In Front Of Old Main

During this punishment, The End Zone isn’t going to be the only strip club in the State College area.

11. Write For The Daily Collegian

In a completely ~unbiased~ manner, this is probably the worst punishment on this list.

10. Lick The Lion Shrine’s Balls

Yes. The Lion Shrine does in fact have testicles. Yes. This punishment does involve licking those testicles.

9. Go To The HUB Late At Night, Alone, On A Weekend, While Completely Sober

If you’ve ever been to the HUB after midnight on a weekend, you will either see the group that plays board games or no one. It’s kind of depressing.

If you ever find yourself doing this and not for a Penn State-themed “Impractical Jokers” gag, please call CAPS.

8. Raise Your Hand In Thomas 100 To Ask To Go Potty

Picture this: You’re discussing race and ethics in a packed SOC 119 lecture. The room is tense. This is some serious shit.

“Excuse me, Professor Richards, can I go potty?”

7. Airdrop Sean Clifford Thirst-Trap Video Edits To Everyone In Your Class

Just like Oprah giving out cars, you’re dropping Big Red Dog edits for everyone. You get a Sean! You get a Sean! You get a Sean!

6. Ask UHS If You Can Contract An STD From Your Sexual Encounter With A Campus Squirrel

Note: This does not mean the punishment includes an actual sexual encounter with a campus squirrel. The Squirrel Whisperer would be mortified.

5. Have Your Mommy Introduce You To Girls Around Campus

If your Penn State ~rizz~ isn’t quite paying off, maybe this punishment could help you out. Momma’s boys, am I right?

4. Live Off Willard Building Vending Machine Food For A Week

Not many vending machines have cold-cut sandwiches, but Willard does.

3. Wear Ohio State Merch

Most Penn Staters would see this as a punishment, and some Penn Staters would see it as an opportunity worth taking. Talk about treason.

2. Put A Spin Bike On A CATA Bus’ Bike Rack

Put a Spin bike on the front bicycle rack of a CATA bus. Then, get on the bus and go for a ride. Lastly, get off the bus and take your Spin bike off the bike rack as if nothing happened.

1. Sing The “Dewey Decimal Rap” Loud And Proud In The Harry Potter Room

Remember the infamous “Dewey Decimal Rap” from your library class in elementary school? We want you to bring it back, but in one of the quietest rooms you can find at Penn State.

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About the Author

Rico Gore

Rico is a junior advertising major from Pittsburgh who has been with Onward State since his freshman year. He loves to drink Diet Coke and eat Mexican food. You can follow Rico on Instagram @RealBigRico and TikTok @RealBigRico.

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