Unfortunately for the Jonas Brothers' wives, Happiness Begins is all about Happy Valley.
The solution to the Nittany Lions' recruiting woes lies in Williamsport.
Georgia, Alabama, Ohio State, and USC were all ranked above the Nittany Lions in ESPN's "Linebacker U" rankings.
The 20-minute wait for your spot in the queue dwarfs other trials of endurance and actually makes them feel like fleeting moments.
We'll see you and the horses on Old Town Road, 26.
If stories about freshmen peeing in sinks (or on their roommates) are your thing, then keep reading.