Drunk Sober High
Have you ever read articles and comments on Onward State and saw references to CCSG and wondered “What the heck is that?” Read on after the jump to find out who we are, what we do, and why.
Last week, Graham Spanier released (and subsequently blueballed us with) a preview of his State of the University address. After many sleepless nights and cold showers, the day finally arrived on Friday. Penn Staters everywhere awoke to an email from G-Span himself.
Grab a clean pair of pants, and without further ado, the State of the University:
The outcome was never in doubt, but Penn State made important strides both offensively and defensively in their 24-0 victory over Kent State.
"I thought today we improved a little bit," Penn State coach Joe Paterno said. However, he added, "We got a ways to go yet."
After today's Kent State game, while enjoying myself at a tailgate, I spotted Terry Pegula.
I was excited, to say the least. This was the man who had just yesterday donated $88 million to our dear university. A real-life billionaire, to boot!
Yesterday morning, more than 120 students came together on Pollock Road to participate in the University Park Undergraduate Association's Second Annual "Every Lion a Shrine" Sexual Assault March. A recent study by the Department of Justice shows that 1 in 4 women will be victims of rape while in college, a startling statistic that Penn State students hope to lower.
Last night at the Bryce Jordan Center, SNL head writer Seth Meyers said naughty things while mixing some stand up in there. Riding the wave of media buzz and unimaginably huge ratings generated by the hallowed tradition that is the ESPYs, Meyers is touring campuses across the nation.
He decided to stick the best crowd he will have in the middle, thus ensuring the fond memories of Penn State will comfort him as he visits progressively worse venues.
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