PSU news by
Penn State's student blog

Topics

More

The View From Schreyer House

Dear Diary,
With finals a week away, a hush has come over campus with students more absorbed in their studies than at any other point in the semester. Books that gathered dust for the past fifteen weeks unopened now sit dog-eared and annotated in a tired desktop heap. Final essays about topics that cross the academic spectrum from Islamic fundamentalism to Euler’s Theorem come to life on computer screens from Hamilton Hall to the Nittany Apartments. All-nighters are not out of the question. Lattes turn into espressos. It’s times like these I’m glad not to be a student.

More musings…

Being an administrator has its perks to be sure. I have a coffeemaker and a secretary. Dictation is amazing. I haven’t written an email in my whole life, having hired a secretary before Al Gore invented that great “series of tubes” known as the Internet. Sometimes, when I’m at home and need something written, I just call my secretary and she gets it done

I also recently found a tutor to teach me Esperanto in my free time. As the president of a major university, I need to converse with people that speak different languages. Easing conversation between different peoples and promoting international understanding were the intentions of L.L. Zamenhof, who created the language in 1887. Currently, I am one of the 100,000 to 2 million people that speak it around the world, but I digress.

Another perk of being an administrator is that I get to print unlimited pages, color or black. There is no 100-page limit (or 200 for you Schreyer nerds). Also, no bandwidth restrictions! I can download until the cows come home or hold Skype conferences for hours. The best perk of all though is not having to take finals.

The whole world of finals and nighttime strolls around Old Main may soon be a thing of the past, if current rumors are to be believed. Secretary Spanier sure has a nice ring to it. Hmm. I don’t know how I feel about the job though. I don’t have any experience with K-12 education. To be honest with you, I don’t really like little kids. They kind of creep me out, what with their little hands and cherubic faces. Maybe this gaping hole in my résumé will be overlooked. Currently, I don’t think I am the best candidate. My money is on that Stanford academic, Linda Darling-Hammond for the position. Time will tell however. Am I change you can believe in?

Your ad blocker is on.

Please choose an option below.

Sign up for our e-mail newsletter:
OR
Support quality journalism:
Purchase a Subscription!

About the Author

Eli Glazier

Eli is a junior majoring in International Politics. He enjoys paninis and books.

State College Links
Follow on Another Platform
113kFollowers
157kFollowers
54.9kFollowers
4,570Subscribers
Other posts by Eli

Senior Writes Final Column

Senior columns, with all their melodrama and platitudes, usually leave me eye-rolling and shaking my head with a vigor usually reserved for study abroad blog posts. But, as I graduate a week from today, I figured I should give it a go myself. Rather than discuss the origins of Onward State like Evan,  I’d just like to briefly thank a few individuals who have defined my Penn State experience.

Speakers Released, Collective “Who?” Uttered

Onward Debates: Private State University

The Story Of Julia Cipparulo & Her Motives For Allegedly Vandalizing Penn State

“That broken ear is a permanent reminder of the dark side of Penn State University, the lives lost, and a warning. A warning that the deaths will continue unless massive change is enacted.”

The Story Of Julia Cipparulo & Her Motives For Allegedly Vandalizing Penn State

“That broken ear is a permanent reminder of the dark side of Penn State University, the lives lost, and a warning. A warning that the deaths will continue unless massive change is enacted.”

Penn State Alum Charged For Campus Vandalism

In a statement sent to Onward State, Julia Cipparulo claimed to have vandalized several Penn State campus landmarks, including the Lion Shrine, on May 8.

Penn State Football Announces New Jersey Numbers For 2022 Season

Nittany Lions old and new have received new jersey numbers ahead of the 2022 season.

 
Send this to a friend