Bro Call
“STATE PATTY’S DAY LIVE BLOG WOOOOOOOOOO!”
Hello to all my loyal bros and babes. I just woke up from last night’s pre-State Patty’s Day escapades, and I’m about to start my participation in the greatest Penn State holiday ever! To show everyone what it’s like, I will be live blogging my experiences. Let’s do this!
4,58…. Bakx homte tikjmne 2 sleep brbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
4:51,, hedujng back form barr niow, mighut take napp
7:44…., Nattyyy was badidea, more pouke bleeeeeh
442222222222: .. m0re Natnny ICEE p;le,sade! :D):)
4::37….. Shoukld I sklow down!? Heyll no it’s State Pattysws!~
432::.., thikjnk ikm dome w/ pujkin, need moree natty plzzzzz
$:25… Just puked evverywhree, green pollo ruineed :( but goiota keep drunkinQ! OOoops gotta poiuke agaijnd vommmmmmmmm
444444444444444444444444444……………… feelijn kinda sikjh…uhoh
4:09;;; uigwhasd.LJVKaH<li POOooOOooP
4″04,,. DOLLAR CAR BOMMBZX THIS IS BEST DAY EVARRR I AM IRISH DRNUK!!!~~!!
4:01… Goijn 2 bra now LOL i say bra not barr
3:58… Omg i lovreew beer roflff
3:53… Someone started playing Dave Matthews Band so I drank another Natty or fore.
3:46… Natty goes down smooth. Another two Natties (Nattys? Lemme know) shotgunned. Life is good :)
3:42… I wake up still slightly drunk and begin drinking. Two Jaegerbombs and one Natty Ice down
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About the Author
Coming Full Circle: Megan Kelby’s Senior Column
“It wasn’t my time for that college experience yet. I had to be able to enjoy myself and get my bearings before I could be ready for any of that.”
Graduating With Style: Buttons On Beaver Founder Makes Mark On Penn State Fashion
“There’s been a few other buttons I’ve seen pop up… but I still feel like my designs are always so much more unique.”
An Algorithm Of Their Own: Penn State Math Club Goes Viral On TikTok
In their order of operations, kindness always comes first.
Natty Chad and the Two-Year Spring Break
Hi. My name is Chad. You may not remember me, but I used to write a column for Onward State called the Bro Call. I’ve been missing in action for over two years now. Read on to find out why.