Bro Call: Fashion Revisited
Hey bros. Sorry for my lack of updates recently, I sprained my wrist shotgunning beers and haven’t been able to type. I’m all better now, though.
Yesterday, some new writer for Onward State, Sebastian, made this ridiculous post about “fashion”. He referenced my previous writings on it, and said “If Chad would wear it, don’t”. It’s clear that this Sebastian fellow is just an insecure basement-dweller who thinks that $200 jeans are “way too expensive” because the only thing he ever spends money on is World of Warcraft currency.
To further illustrate how inane Sebastian’s fashion taste is, let’s look at a few pictures.
Seriously, can anyone look at this guy and not laugh? That shirt looks like it hasn’t ever been washed, let alone ironed. Back in Junior High, I used to beat up kids that wore those kinds of glasses. I didn’t even know they still existed today – I thought I beat some sense into those kids! And look at that beard. Absolutely disgusting.
Now check out some real swagger
Now THIS is style. Popped collar, aviators, baseball hat, AND an iPhone. This dude has tons of class. I bet he gets women on a daily basis and takes advantage of Waring Commons’ Condom Co-op all the time.
When comparing these two dudes, it’s clear who has a better sense of style. Sebastian, the next time you try to write an article, look in a mirror and ask yourself, “did I shower today?” Chances are you didn’t, you dirty bastard.
By the way, the new Dave Matthews Band track was released today, and it’s sweet!
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About the Author
Tim’s Law adds stricter penalties for hazing, as well as provides requirements for institutions and includes immunity for those who call for medical attention in hazing emergencies.
After 12 months, what began as an English 202 project is making Greek Life safer.
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