Ten Questions with Shane McGregor’s Hair
It seems today, one can say they’ve truly “made it” when there’s a parody Twitter account in their honor. Penn State personalities Bill O’Brien (@EvilBillOBrien), Rodney Erickson (@HardRodPSU), and Graham Spanier (@GSpanierPSU), are among some of the most recognizable Penn State parody accounts.
One of the newest accounts to join these notable personas is none other than the luscious blonde hair of Penn State quarterback and Homecoming King nominee Shane McGregor (@SunshineFlow2). The flow was gracious enough to answer a few questions for us.
*The actual Shane McGregor was not involved with this interview. It was conducted with, quite literally, the Twitter presence of his hair.
Onward State: How long have you been working on the flow?
Shane McGregor’s Hair: I’ve been growin’ the flow all my life, I just never knew the capacity of my flowlicious level until I forgot to get a haircut…for 7 months.
OS: Were you inspired by anyone? I’ve heard it compared to Flash Gordon and Kate Gosselin (post-divorce).
SMH: You know, I get that question all the time. A lot of people say Ronnie Bass, aka Sunshine from Remember the Titans. I’d prefer to say that I’m more of a trendsetter (have you seen the amount of people trying to flow nowadays!?), but if I had to choose, I’d say Henry Winkler, aka The Fonz from Happy Days. His flow isn’t long, but it’s beyond luscious. I’d say he’s my flow model.
OS: Does the flow help or hinder your football abilities?
SMH: Luckily, my good friend helmet holds me in place during games. It’s annoying when I’m not wearing a hat because I need to constantly push my hair out of my face. People have suggested braiding and headbands but frankly, it’s highly unlikely you see this mane being hindered by such trivial hair accessories. If I’m going to wear a hair piece, it’s going to be something you’ve never seen before. Something Lady Gaga-esque, only way more macho.
OS: What made you decide to ditch the buzz cut from your first few seasons?
SMH: I just needed change. Also, I just haven’t had the chance to get a hair cut. These football skills aren’t God-given–they take hours and hours of practice. As much as I love myself, my head’s football comes first. Always.
OS: What’s the best way to conquer helmet hair?
SMH: Conquer helmeet hair? Why would you want to do that? I love the way it makes my ends flip out like a 50s housewife bob, only more masculine because [this] style wasn’t created with curlers, but with my head’s sweat, blood and tears (okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic). I’d say the helmet is the most manly of styling tools out there. Work with what you have, gentlemen! Embrace the helmet, embrace the flow!
OS: We’ve heard your teammate, Mike Wallace (@Mike_Wallz) does hair cuts, would you go to him should you decide to ditch the flow?
SMH: Mike’s a good friend of mine. He knows my strands well. Would I trust him to do my cut? Absolutely. I”m not sure I’m ready to give up flow though. I’ve still got work to do, I’ve still got lives to brighten, I’ve still got girls to woo.
OS: What kind of shampoo do you use? Do you have a routine to keep your hair so perfect?
SMH: That I can’t tell you. It’s the biggest secret I have, and to tell you that would take away the flow’s unique reputation. It’s like finding treasure then telling all of your friends where it is…you’d have no treasure left. Let’s just say that I work hard to keep the flow shining.
OS: If you’re to win Homecoming King, are you worried that the crown may affect the flow?
SMH: Nothing can hold these locks down. I’ve got so much volume that it’s physically impossible to hinder my shine and effect on others, and I dare say that golden crown will compliment these sunshine strands quite nicely. Gold on gold, shine on shine.
OS: Is there a chance we could see the flow on stage during THON this year during Wigs for Kids?
SMH: You know, that’s a great idea. My head, Shane, danced in THON last year and I know he’s always FTK, and I must say, anyone would look dapper with these golden strands.
OS: Could you offer our readers some advice so that they can have beautiful hair like yours?
SMH: My advice to you, readers: embrace what God gave you. You’ve all been blessed with beautiful locks, you just need the confidence to go out and ROCK them. Everyone is unique, and that’s what I love about this world. You could have a fro, you could have long red curls, but no matter what, it’s all beautiful. It all shines–just find your inner flow and live it out every single day.
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About the Author
Students once approved a Wally Triplett statue that Penn State’s bureaucracy prevented from ever coming to fruition.
Rednor is current a junior and the president of Zeta Tau Alpha sorority.
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