PSU news by
Penn State's student blog

Topics

About

Overheard In The Men’s Bathroom At THON

By: Alex Bauer

With the final hours of THON 2015 underway, students continue to fill the Bryce Jordan Center; some excited and energized, some fighting back fatigue, and others that just really have to pee. Earlier today, we shared what we overheard in the women’s bathroom. Now the men’s bathroom at THON isn’t even remotely normal. Guys opt for the few stalls in order to get a quick break from their feet, almost cheating from being in the stands. With that said, here’s what was overheard when students go to drain the main vein:

“Yeah morale is high right now, man! I feel awesome!” –Enthusiastic bathroom guy

“Yeah… sure, man…” –Guy who doubts Enthusiastic bathroom guy

“OH GOD NO!” –Guy who really had to poo, only to have his spirits absolutely crushed by the long line in the bathroom (probably)

“Everybody gotta poop!” –Man who confidently marched straight into the bathroom

“I’m never getting back to my seat in time” –A fella just taking care of business

“HERE WE GO!” –Guy who’s super pumped to be taking a dump

“I have to take a shit, come piss with me” –Guy who can’t make up his mind

“What is the discharge rate… Well instead of one big pump lets go with two smaller pumps” –Older gentleman who appears to be in the pump business having an unfortunately timed business call in the bathroom

“I could go three fortnights without taking a shit” –The William Shakespeare of holding-it-in

“Good Lord… Actually I just have to piss”

“Yeah I just took a crap, it was really long… The line! The line was long!” –Guy who felt the need to clarify

About the Author

Alex Bauer

Alex graduated in Spring 2018 with a major in Corporate Innovation and Entrepreneurship. He was a first generation Penn Stater from Cheshire, Connecticut along with his two sisters. His favorite things are dogs, coffee, and dogs that shoot hot jets of coffee out of their mouths. If you are Mad Online™ about something Alex wrote on the internet, you can send him threatening emails at [email protected], or harass him on Snapchat and Instagram @TheAlexBauer.

Comments

More by Alex

The Best Penn State Creamery Milkshakes (With Alcohol)

With summer peeking over the horizon, the time has come to combine two Penn State staples: Berkey Creamery milkshakes and alcohol.

Wandering The Valley: Alex Bauer’s Senior Column

The Time Has Come To End The 5-Year Student Media Dodgeball Drought

Athletics

Max Sauve Commits To Penn State Hockey

Sauve originally committed to Vermont in 2015, but flipped to Penn State at the eleventh hour and will join the Nittany Lions next season.

Penn State Women’s Volleyball Releases 2018 Schedule

Penn State Hoops Alumnus Joonas Suotamo’s Journey To Becoming Chewbacca Featured On ESPN’s ‘E:60’

Evaluating Tony Carr’s Performance At The 2018 NBA Draft Combine

Penn State Hockey Commit Evan Bell Wins Clark Cup With USHL’s Fargo Force

Student Life

10 Questions With 2019 Class Gift Director Tom Beeby

Tom Beeby will serve as the 2019 Class Gift Executive Director.

Career Services To Launch Integrated Career Management & Recruiting Platform

Penn State Esports Wins Tespa Collegiate Hearthstone Championship

Plans Submitted For New KFC In State College

Developers have submitted preliminary land development plans to build a new KFC restaurant at 1780 S. Atherton St. in State College.

Penn State Names Guadagnino Vice President For Administration

Guadagnino will continue to provide legal advice as associate general counsel in addition to his duties as vice president.

As Disciplinary Hearing Opens, Expert Says Baldwin Failed To Properly Represent Ex-Penn State Administrators

A Pennsylvania Disciplinary Board hearing began on Tuesday in Pittsburgh for former Penn State general counsel Cynthia Baldwin, who is accused of violating rules of professional conduct in her representation of former university administrators during the Jerry Sandusky investigation.

Be the first to know

  • Top posts and the best Penn State stories

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.

10 Questions With 2019 Class Gift Director Tom Beeby

Tom Beeby will serve as the 2019 Class Gift Executive Director.

Send this to a friend