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Nittany Quickie: Episode Two

We’re back and freaky as ever for the second round of Nittany Quickie stories. We thought your hook-up stories impressed us last time, but apparently you guys were just getting started. Although we may never look at these places the same again, we admire your dedication.

Here’s the second round of your Nittany Quickies:

The Willard Preacher’s Nightmare 

“I was studying with a ‘friend’ during syllabus week. We had been talking for a while and began talking about hook up stories. We starting getting frisky and yada yada yada we started hooking up on the podium in the front of the class. It was late and just after we finished the hall lights came on and the janitors came in to clean. We ended up having a 10 minute conversation, the whole time worrying that they would figure out what had just happened in the room minutes earlier.”

Good thing the Willard Preacher is praying for us all because you have most certainly sinned. Also, who studies during syllabus week?

Hello North Halls 

“So I had been talking to a guy for about month. I went out on a Thursday with some friends and got pretty drunk. It was about 2:30 in the morning and I found myself walking to North Halls to see him. The guy was on shift till about 5 a.m. We were hanging out behind the commons desk and next thing I knew he turned around and shut the commons desk window’s door. We started making out on the desk and I thought it seemed like a bad idea so I mentioned let’s go somewhere else. We ran to the stairwell leading up to the cafeteria. Got down to business and walked quietly down the stairs like nothing happened. Easily one of the best nights of my college career.”

Not many of can say we’ve peaked in the north halls cafeteria stairwell, but those who can are legends.

Holy Holuba

“I was probably at the Den, blacked out or something, and sent a “wyd” text. He said it was his birthday and his girlfriend was up but he had an idea of where we could go. One thing led to another and I found myself stumbling around the outside on the practice football field with a t-shirt dress, one broken flip-flop, and a hair tie holding my room key to my wrist. He texted me to wait for the janitor to leave and then walk around a dumpster by the football building to the right side and I’ll see a door propped open. I was told to go through there and go around those things that the lineman run into during practice (IDK what they are called drunk or sober) and there he met me and guided me to the 50 yard line. I told him Happy Birthday and that I hope his girlfriend didn’t ask where he went. The opposing team wasn’t the only thing he sacked that weekend.”

If only Penn State football was as committed to winning its games as it apparently is to getting laid. Also, we don’t condone cheating.

Banging By The Bell Tower 

“We’d mentioned hooking-up on the Old Main lawn before but had never seriously considered it. It was sylly week this year, and his roommate was in for the night and so was mine so we got creative and went to Old Main instead. I came home after and went to bed, then woke up the next morning and realized i was COVERED in dirt. I also got the equivalent of rug burn from the dirt, scraped knees, and bruises from the encounter….totally worth it though.”

This takes the term “getting dirty” to a new literal level.

Getting Electric In EE West

“So basically my boyfriend and I are always down to try new things and new places — of course we had to check a classroom off of our list. It happened on finals week of 2015. My boyfriend was leaving on this particular day (we live 6 hours from each other when we’re at home) and we wanted to go out with a bang since we were about to have at least a month-long dry spell. We chose a particular building that is near and dear to his heart and headed in. I don’t remember exactly what room it was in but it was a lab classroom. We did a bunch of different things all while enjoying a nice view of the duck pond. I did stuff to him, he did stuff to me, and we went all the way. It was pretty great but SUPER hot in that room. By the time we finished we were drenched in sweat and satisfied. After we finished up we went to have a gander at the lil duckies at the duck pond. I tried to pet them but they weren’t too keen. ”

We are huge fans of the Penn State ducks and understand your appreciation. It seems petting them is almost as hard as interviewing them. Speaking of the Penn State ducks…


“It was at the start of the semester and we hadn’t seen each other for a few weeks. It was late at night and I’m an RA so we couldn’t go back to my place. We had both been back to school for a few days, but between my boyfriend living off campus and me being an RA with move-in activities we hadn’t had much time to see each other. It was 11 p.m. when we met up at the HUB. We were both feeling in the mood but knew his place was far and mine was filled with anxious freshmen. We were walking around by the library and started making out. We both knew we had to find a place quick. The gazebo seemed like the perfect balance of class and still sneaky. A girl and guy walked in (maybe they had the same idea) and the girl shouted ‘OMG sorry’ and walked away fast. After much embarrassment we now refer to the gazebo as our special place.”

Who said RAs don’t know how to have fun? For the rest of the year freshmen won’t be able to look at their RAs the same, or that gazebo. Who knew the area around the duck pond was a sacred place for so many?

Did these stories inspire you to share your own? Submit your own crazy hook-up here.

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About the Author

Caitlin Gailey

Senior from just outside the city of Brotherly Love. Yes, I am one of those Philly sports fans. I bleed blue and white and have since birth. Maybe someday you will see me on ESPN and then again maybe not. If you ever want to inflate my ego email me at [email protected]

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