Your THON 2017 Prop Bets
Welcome back to THON! While the majority of the weekend will be the same general events and fanfare of THONs past, as always, the details will be a bit different. We’re far from prediction wizards here at Onward State, but we try anyway, because why not? From the most played songs, to trying to guess the pep rally results, and even how many tutus we’ll see this year, we’ve got all the bases covered.
Prop bets, for those not in the know, are defined by Onward State co-founder Evan Kalikow as such: “A prop bet is short for proposition bet. Basically, it’s a bet on something not commonly betted upon. For example, lots of people bet on the score of the Super Bowl, but how many people bet on how many times the winning coach will say ‘humbled’ in the post-game press conference? That’s a prop bet.”
Remember: these are not real odds, we made them up. Oh, and, ONWARD STATE IS NOT A GAMBLING OPERATION. DON’T GAMBLE ON THON.
1. Which will be the most played THON song?
24k Magic–Bruno Mars: 3-1
Starboy–The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk: 5-1
What Do You Mean– Justin Bieber: 10-1
Closer–The Chainsmokers: 50-1
Fight Song–Rachel Platten: 100-1
24k Magic is a near-perfect THON song, tons of energy, fairly clean, and it makes you feel like you’re at a party. In contrast, Starboy seems like a song that could be played a lot in the background of the less energetic hours, and it’s popular enough to get a lot of airtime. It wouldn’t be THON without children constantly yelling Justin Bieber, so it makes sense he made the list. Closer has an outside shot, but after the near-constant playing of it last semester, it seems unlikely. Please, whoever plays the music, if you’re reading this, for the love of god, lay off Fight Song. Please.
2. Who Will Win The Pep Rally?
Men’s Swimming: 3-1
Men’s Basketball: 8-1
Women’s Volleyball: 10-1
With the men’s gymnastics and hockey teams not participating due to sport-specific competition this year, this year’s pep rally could be anyone’s guess. Men’s swimming always makes a splash, but with its recent success on the field, the football team will likely be a fan favorite and a tough team to beat. Men’s basketball is back for the first time since THON 2014 and, especially with such a young team, will come with high energy. After an uncharacteristically early exit from the NCAA tournament this year, it’s the opinion of this writer that the women’s volleyball team will come out hungry for a win.
3. When Will THON Reach Capacity For Good?
Between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m.: 3-1
After 6 a.m.: 8-1
Before 4 a.m.: 15-1
It won’t: 30-1
Last year the BJC closed its doors around 5 a.m., and I suspect this year won’t be much different. The BJC used to reach capacity earlier, but after not reaching capacity at all for THON 2015, it seems the trend has been for the BJC to fill up later and later. I don’t think that trend will reverse, but I think after filling up last year, people won’t want to take their chances and will come fairly early.
Times it takes you to learn the line dance: 5
Highest number of tutus in the BJC at once: 1,500
People complaining about new IFC social rules: 35
Times one org “steals” another org’s spot: 2
People who get yelled at for trying to sit in the bathroom: 75
Times a picture of Joe Paterno is shown and people freak out: 3
Dancers that wish they had coffee: 550
Drunk people that are denied entrance from the BJC: 25
Percent of the BJC crying during family hour: 50
Celebrities tweeting about THON: 6
And an unspoken question on everyone’s mind
THON 2017 Fundraising Total: $10,000,000
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About the Author
Who needs the Orange Bowl when you can go to the Citrus Bowl and have oranges AND all their citrus brethren in one game of crossover SEC-Big Ten smashmouth football?
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