If Penn State Buildings Were Haunted Houses
Penn State has its fair share of ghost stories and haunted buildings. It also has its fair share of buildings that are completely unhaunted, but somehow still manage to make your skin crawl. Quite frankly, some of these buildings are better off repurposed…as haunted houses.
In the spirit of Halloween and all things spooky, here are the buildings on campus that would make the best haunted houses.
The Forum is one of the most dreadful buildings to see on your class schedule. Every Penn State student has experienced the infamous lecture hall, and I doubt the memories are fond. Perhaps you still have nightmares about taking Chem 110 exams there as a freshman, and perhaps you wake up from those nightmares in a cold sweat only to find yourself in the Forum because you dozed off in a boring Gen Ed.
It really is the stuff of nightmares, and as such, it would make a perfect haunted house. The haunted house would be a never ending cycle of walking around the outside hallway and sitting, jam-packed with hundreds of other students in a classroom, as ghoulish creatures give spooky lectures on topics such as Brains 104: Intro to Macro-Zombie Theory.
It only takes one visit to the Stacks at night to realize why they would make a spook-tacular haunted house. First of all, books *shudders*. Granted, this vibe might be because the Pattee Stacks are actually haunted, but that’s just another reason why they’d make a great haunted house.
What I envision for a haunted house at Willard: Approaching the east entrance, the ghost of the Willard Preacher greets you (i.e. the Willard Preacher wearing a bedsheet). He gives his usual spiel about how we’re all going to hell and blah, blah, blah. Then, you enter the building to meet the fate that the Preacher predicted: a hellish haunted house.
The Hammond Building would probably break the world record for largest, at least longest, haunted house ever, as the building is 10 miles long (give or take). Its narrow hallway stretches on for eternity, making it the perfect setup for jump scare after jump scare. The hallway alone has the potential for terror, but add a trip into the basement and the haunted house reaches a new level. Dark, scary, and surprisingly difficult to find an exit, it would be the most thrilling ending to the multilevel Hammond haunted house. This one would send your heart-rate and the hair on your neck straight up.
Location, location, location — a statement that is true of any piece of real estate. Haunted houses are no exception. Conveniently located as far away as possible from anything and anyone on campus, the Keller Building would make a boo-tiful haunted house.
Your screams would be little more than white noise to guests at the Nittany Lion Inn as they sleep soundly through the night. Since the building houses the School of Labor and Employment Relations, the haunted house could tap into every college student’s biggest fear: the real, working world. At the very least, a haunted attraction on West Campus would be an eerie excuse to stop by Waring Commons for those devilishly delicious cookies.
Honestly, what building on campus would make a better haunted house than Old Main? It has to be housing some spooky secrets. Old Main is a phantomly fantastic location for an all-Penn State themed haunted house. It would feature past university presidents in zombie form and a mummified Nittany Lion.
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About the Author
Governor Tom Wolf officially enacted the Timothy J. Piazza Anti-Hazing Law, which will establish stronger penalties, new standards for enforcement and reporting, and a stratified system for assessing hazing offenses, Friday in Harrisburg.
State College has plenty of restaurants that always seem too far and too expensive — except when your parents are in town.
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