Washington State’s head football coach and the father of the modern air raid offense, Mike Leach, took to Twitter last Friday to gauge interest in what may possibly be the coolest college seminar class in the history of college seminars. 

The takeaway from Leach’s tweet, its 44.6K likes, and over 2,000 comments is resounding: everyone wants to take this class. Even people who are not enrolled at Washington State — or enrolled in college at all.

pic.twitter.com/flhm6LLD3g

— Nick Saban (@sabanfaux) November 28, 2018

Truthfully, faux Nick Saban speaks for all of us with that gif. 

Yet while I would transfer across country in a heartbeat just to take this seminar for football guys/gals taught by a true football guy — the only one of its kind as far as I can tell, it just isn’t feasible at this moment. Unless Washington State offers a section of Leach’s course as an online seminar, I, like many others, may be shit out of luck. 

However, there may be a way to get a football guy of equal caliber to teach a seminar at Penn State. Of course, I’m looking at you, James Franklin. I know how much you already love dropping into Sociology 119, so why not take a shot at teaching your own course?

Ideally, the course would be taught in 100 Thomas to maximize enrollment, but I also know how badly you want to see all of your students sit in the front row. Maybe we can convince the university to build a new classroom that only has one row of approximately 700 seats just for your seminar.

There’s no doubt in my mind that every seat in the seminar would fill up the second it is offered on LionPATH. In fact, university enrollment itself will probably peak as a result. I know I’m not the only one with a burning desire to hear your voice at least once a week every week for six weeks, but feel free to make it a four credit course.

By now, I’m sure you’re on board with teaching the seminar, so let’s talk about subjects. As the instructor, obviously, you do have final say over the topic; however, I would like to bounce some ideas off of you first:

• How to effectively use backup quarterbacks to optimize the cult fandoms of each signal caller 
• Using guerrilla tactics (i.e. ambushing their classes) to motivate your players to succeed on and off the field
• Rhetoric as it pertains to social media and coercing the masses to all wear the same color
• Treating every assignment like it’s the Super Bowl — time and workload management
• Read options (assigned readings for this section are recommended but not mandatory)
• Ethics of icing a kicker to preserve a 56-0 shutout
• Coping with the loss of a loved one — like your former offensive coordinator

I hope you can see yourself enlightening Penn Staters on one or more of these topics in the near future — perhaps not next semester, but Spring 2020 at the latest. I look forward to sitting front and center in your seminar a little over a year from now.

Unless, of course, you need a TA. In that case, I would gladly clear my schedule.