The musical genius behind middle school anthem “Cooler Than Me” is going to walk coast-to-coast, and he’ll be marching right through State College when he does.

Mike Posner will depart from Asbury Park, New Jersey on March 1 and hike all the way to Venice Beach, California, but not without stopping to get a slice of Canyon Pizza first.

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Swipe thru. Google map of my projected route is in my bio ????

A post shared by Mike Posner (@mikeposner) on Jan 30, 2019 at 6:49am PST

If Posner walked straight through from Asbury (which, to be clear, is impossible), it would take him about three and a half days to reach State College. Assuming he’ll stop along the way, let’s say it takes him five days — he’ll still arrive in State College during spring break, unfortunately.

Posner’s route takes him through Big Ten country up to Michigan before heading to Southern California on the strangest path across the United States ever conceived.

On his millennial version of the Oregon Trail, Posner hopes to spread philanthropy, practice deep listening, love everybody, sing for people, and enjoy the journey. You can even join the artist on his walk if you so choose and blast “I Took A Pill In Ibiza” along the way, but not if you’re actually trying to get lit.

We can only hope that he will stay in State College long enough to perform an unreleased song at Champs — and avoid dysentery.