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All Of The Penn State References You Probably Missed On The Jonas Brothers’ New Album

The Jonas Brothers are officially back in State College today, and even though it feels like they never left, a lot has happened since their surprise performance at Champs last spring.

Namely, our favorite trio of brothers dropped their first official reunion album, “Happiness Begins,” and it is RICH. It may play like a love ballad, but the project was clearly intended to be an ode to the Jonas Brothers’ favorite place on Earth: Happy Valley.

From top to bottom, the album runs deep with references to their beloved Penn State even if you may have unwittingly mistaken it to be about their wives. Don’t believe me? Let’s dissect some of the lyrics from the album.

“You’re the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain” — Sucker

Uncultured individuals may take this lyric to be about a girl, but it is blatant that Nick and Joe are referencing Champs’ Dirty Sprites. The medicine AND the pain? These two know what it feels like to ball out on $2 dirty sprites one night and wake up the next morning. It can’t be a coincidence that dirty sprites are the only drink I know of with a cult tattoo following either.

“Drunk to an ’80s groove (Ayy)” — Only Human

Here, Joe Jonas is trying to capture the essence of being in Beaver Stadium when Music Man PJ Mullen blasts “Livin’ On A Prayer” even though you’re barely holding on anymore.

“Lately I don’t even know ya / Too many devils on your shoulder, shoulder” — Used To Be

I’m pretty sure this is actually a direct quote from the Willard Preacher.

“Don’t throw it away. Your mind is messin’ with your head again” — Don’t Throw It Away

On this track, Nick and Joe grapple with the many disposal options at the HUB trash/recycling stations. Where does it all belong? Trash? Compost? Hard plastics? Miscellaneous plastics? It is all too much for the Jonas Brothers, leading them into a deep spiral of confusion.

“I thank the oceans for giving me you. / You saved me once and I’ll save you too.” — Hesitate

What would the Penn State love ballad be without showing gratitude to the two players most dear to all of our hearts: Saquon Barkley and Trace McSorley. The Jonas Brothers’ are thanking the powers that be for gracing our program with these two football demi-gods who turned the fortunes of Penn State football following the sanction.

For that, the brothers are extremely grateful and would sacrifice anything for either of them in a time of need, just like any Penn State fan would.

“I remember low lows and high highs. / We threw our hands up, palms out to the skies.” — Rollercoaster

Every single Penn State football fan that heard this song thought to themselves, “Wow, the Jonas Brothers really get me.” That’s because this song is solely about their Nittany Lion fandom through thick and thin. There’s something about Nick’s beautiful voice describing what we have all been feeling that will make even the most hardened Penn State dad tear up.

“Come back” — Comeback

This is a not-so-subtle reference to the JoePa statue. The fact that people missed this baffles me.

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About the Author

Anthony Fiset

Anthony is a senior *gasp* majoring in Economics and a lifetime Costco Executive Member. If you are an employer, please hire him. Otherwise, direct all complaints to [email protected].

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