Last week, we asked you to send us your wildest hookup stories, and oh boy, did you folks give us the dirty deets.

We already knew Staters were wild, but we never could have imagined just how wild, until we learned about how (and where) you get after it. Whether it was on Old Main Lawn, the HUB, or at Beaver Stadium’s 50-yard line, your stories did not disappoint.

In fact, you gave us so much material, we couldn’t fit it all into one post. So sit back, relax, and enjoy episode one of Nittany Quickie.

The Lactation Room Of The Chemical And Biomedical Engineering Building

“My boyfriend and I were traversing the new building last spring when we stumbled upon the nicely furnished lactation room…you know the rest! BTW the chair in that room is hella comfy ;)”

Well, that’s one way to tour a new building.

The Study Lounge In East

“My boyfriend and I had JUST started actually dating maybe a week before this happened. We’d had sex a couple of times already, but it was never anything kinky. I was having an extremely bad day, and he came to comfort me in the study lounge that was at East at the time. Keep in mind this was like midnight on a Tuesday, so we didn’t think anyone would be around. We started kissing and one thing lead to another and we ended up having sex there.

It was great until the aid found us. The aids that caught us seemed to be more shocked than angry. I thought we’d get in really bad trouble but we just had to go to a class about “proper well-being” with a bunch of other people who violated university policy. Now it’s just a funny story my boyfriend and I (who I’ve been with now for three years) we tell other people to make them laugh.”

What else are boyfriends for?

Third Floor Of The HUB

“UPUA meeting went super late, and we were studying afterward. I guess we just got carried away and swept up in the riveting legislation passed that night! 11/10 would recommend.”

Nothing gets you in the mood like UPUA.

A Whole Slew Of Places

“[I’ve hooked up in] the Millennium Science Center’s garden, on the Alumni Center’s garden benches, and in an East Halls staircase. One of the times, some drunk kid stumbled right past, oblivious that two naked people were right next to him (thankfully), so basically we were never caught.”

Adventurous.

Behind The Dorito Church

“My girlfriend at the time performed oral on me. We didn’t think anyone was watching, but when we walked back to Beaver Ave. to head home, a crowd of about 10-12 people applauded us. She was very embarrassed. I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled.”

Smile and wave, boys, just smile and wave.

An Even Greater Slew Of Places

“I had a girlfriend my senior year of college who was a fan of doing it in places that you weren’t supposed to do it. So, as a bucket list for senior year, we came with a list of places on campus to have sex at before graduation. We ended up doing it at the Arboretum, 100 Thomas, the Stacks, the duck pond, and finally, directly on the Old Main steps.

I’m not talking about Old Main Lawn. I mean right there in front of the door near the pillars of the building. Old Main was definitely the most exhilarating spot because there are lights everywhere and not a lot of secluded places. We checked Old Main off of our bucket list the night before graduation at like 3 a.m. — it was well worth it.”

We get it, you have like a lot of sex.

If you have a crazy, wild hookup story you want to submit, be our guest and do so here.