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Vatican Astrobiology Conference: Copernicus Not Invited

etPenn State professor of geosciences, James Kasting, was recently one of thirty scientists invited to attend a three-day conference at the Vatican. The topic? The existence of extraterrestrial life and the emerging field of astrobiology.

Wahhhhhh?!?!

Is it just me, or does the Church seem like an unlikely host for this conference?

Once he’s done convincing the Church of the existence of Martians, Professor Kasting has a few other little side projects lined up:

  • Convincing the Vatican the Earth is NOT the center of the universe
  • Convincing Osama Bin Laden to invest in a McDonald’s franchise
  • Convincing the BCS to go to a playoff system
  • Convincing the BCS that we deserve the Orange Bowl
  • Convincing the country that Sarah Palin is not “all that”
  • Convincing the economy to bounce back

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About the Author

Noah Simmons

Noah is an International Politics major minoring in French. Noah participates in the Mock Trial team, the Sailing Team, and is the president/founder of the Odyssey of the Mind club. Besides pushing the limit of what is journalistically acceptable, Noah enjoys long walks on the beach and football. In a previous lifetime he was William Wallace

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The Future of Footwear Comes to Penn State

A new fad has hit Penn State, one that threatens to be greater than Pogs, Pokemon, and Yo-yos combined. They make you feel like Buzz Aldrin, and make Sketchers’ ShapeUps look conservative.  I’m referring, of course, to Kangoo Jumps (KJs). Already rumored to be featured on the Richard Simmons comeback exercise video (full disclosure: the author started this rumor…right now), Kangoo Jumps are taking State College by storm, in all their goofy glory.

Save the Boobs!

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Take a trip down memory lane by reminiscing on the Nittany Lions’ most impactful sequences of 2022.

 
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