Research Behemoth Penn State Declares Eating Tide Pods Unsafe

The Pennsylvania State University is one of the top research universities in the nation. Its annual research expenditures are close to $1 billion, and it is one of two United States institutions to earn land, sea, sun, and space grant status. With this much prestige, it comes as no surprise that Penn State is making a difference in countless lives across the globe.

Monday morning Penn State’s official social media promoted the top tier research institution’s latest finding: eating Tide Pods is really stupid.

The university addressed the “#TidePodChallenge,” which it described as “a phenomenon in which teenagers and young adults place often-colorful laundry detergent pods in their mouths and then post the video on social media.” This behavior, according to Penn State Extension’s Pesticide Educations Program, is “reckless and dangerous.”

HOWEVER, the university did not address whether eating Tide Pods and posting it on social media will make you go #viral #online and thereby be #cool by the rules of the internet…

… it doesn’t. Don’t eat Tide Pods.

The so-called “Tide Pod Challenge” and the meme of consuming Tide Pods has become such an unfortunate trend that Proctor & Gamble, along with Rob Gronkowski, has had to address it and remind the masses that eating Tide Pods is, in fact, not great!

In addition to Tide Pod consumption, Penn State is also involved in some actual significant and profound research.

According to the latest edition of Research/Penn State, Penn State researchers have developed nanoparticle medication that may prevent melanoma from becoming resistant to treatment, a procedure to prompt human stem cells to develop into myocardium and epicardium cells (which form the middle and outer layers of the heart, respectively), a 49,500 square foot data center with 23,500 computer cores to process and analyze a preposterous amount of “big data” for astronomers, physicists, material scientists, and computer scientists, and so much more.

Don’t be mistaken by silly articles published on the Penn State newswire. Our university is leading the way in innovative research. You can read more in the current Research/Penn State magazine below, or check out some of the previous editions in the archives.

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About the Author

Alex Bauer

Alex is a senior from Cheshire, Connecticut majoring in Corporate Innovation and Entrepreneurship (CIENT) and Finance. He is a first generation Penn Stater along with his two sisters. His favorite things are dogs, coffee, and dogs that shoot hot jets of coffee out of their mouths. If you are Mad Online™ about something Alex wrote on the internet, you can send him threatening emails at [email protected], or harass him on Snapchat and Instagram @TheAlexBauer.

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