Saquon Barkley Accomplishes Most Impressive Feat To Date, Might Be A Jedi
After watching Saquon Barkley torch college defenses for three years at Penn State and post a rookie highlight reel that looks like it came straight out of Madden, I thought I had seen it all.
He makes NFL secondaries look like they’re playing with their feet stuck in mud and linebackers literally bounce off his thighs. He’s broken enough ankles to keep an entire collection of them in his fanny pack — allegedly. And when defenders think they can finally square-up with the Rookie of the Year, he leaps over their head, leaving them tackling air.
Just when I thought the bar of awesomeness that Barkley set for himself was too high for him to ever surpass, he hurdled that, too.
Late Wednesday night, Barkley posted a Snapchat story of him doing arguably the most impressive thing done by any human ever. And surprisingly, no Big Ten defenders’ egos were hurt in the making of the video.
In the video, Barkley spits a piece of gum out of his mouth straight into the air, kicks it back into the air, and then sprints to catch the piece in his mouth before it falls to the ground — a feat long thought to be humanly impossible.
It begs the question, is Saquon Barkley a real-life sorcerer? It’s starting to look like the only logical explanation for the things that he is capable of doing. I mean, I know they called Trace McSorley a wizard, but he can’t do that shit.
Seriously, name me one other human being who can do what Barkley just did. Barry Sanders? Nope. Bo Jackson? He doesn’t know that. Emmett Smith? Not even if his offensive line carried him through it. Michael Jordan? No chance. Lebron James? Never. Usain Bolt? NO!
Someone just get this man on a Trident Layers commercial. You can sell anything with that smile…even the world’s okayest soda.
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About the Author
“When they call my name on graduation day, and I stand up and cross that stage, I know in my heart that this has been a collaborative effort.”
If last week’s stories of roommates’ boyfriends selling underwear didn’t scare you off, check in for part two of freshman roommate horror stories.
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