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How To Have Your Own Beach Vacation At Penn State

Spring break is finally here, which means that all of your friends are going to be off on some beach for the next week. And if you’re stuck in a cold climate, it’s hard not turn green with envy with every tropical Snapchat story and Instagram post.

Luckily, if you’re staying in State College for spring break, you have everything you need to make your own beach vacation right here!

Step 1: Call The Corona Hotline

It’s going to take some planning to turn Penn State into your very own beach. That’s why your first move is to get in contact with Tony Romo at the Corona Hotline. He’ll provide you with all of the information you need to get started.

Step 2: Stock Up

Now that Tony Romo has helped you with your planning and predicted all of Penn State’s plays for the entire 2019 season, you need to gather all of the necessities before you can start having fun in the sun. Coronas? Check. Sunscreen? Check. Swimmies? Check. Beach chair? Check. Sunglasses? Check.

Don’t worry if you’re missing anything on your list. Target downtown has already made the transition to summer, so you can find all of your beach-going needs on display as soon as you walk in the store!

Step 3: Find Your Beach

You’ve assembled everything you need to have your own beach vacation, and now all you need is a beach. We recommend one of the luxurious beach volleyball courts on campus, which are filled with sand imported from Bora Bora (allegedly). They may still be covered in some snow, but that’s okay. A beach is a sandy shore surrounded by water — they never said what state the water needs to be in!

Step 4: Enjoy!

It’s finally time to kick back and relax on your own little slice of heaven. Is this paradise? Yeah, it’s Penn State. Be sure to snap plenty pics for those quintessential “take me back” Instagram posts that you can spread out over the next 12 months.

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About the Author

Anthony Fiset

Anthony is a senior *gasp* majoring in Economics and a lifetime Costco Executive Member. If you are an employer, please hire him. Otherwise, direct all complaints to [email protected].

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